We get it. Some of you out there ("some") have weird sleeping rituals. A dolphin and whale noise soundtrack, a little bit of hypnosis, some Ecoya candles, lights on and then off for exactly eight times before getting into bed - we see you. And you know, hey, whatever gets the job done.
But let us timidly suggest that perhaps your routine is not what it could be, what it should be, what it was born to be. No, your bedtime routine is missing the man who inspired an entire religion, Jeff Bridges himself (look it up). Let him hum to you, talk bullshit to you ("...sleep, of course, implies waking up... everything implies everything") while the sound of children playing gently ease you into the Land of Nod. It's the next pinnacle in sleep tapes, people.
Still reading? Okay, we wouldn't be, but let's give you some extra fodder. Here's Jeff:
"The world is filled with too many restless people in need of rest – that's why I filled my sleeping tapes with intriguing sounds, noises and other things to help you get a good night's rest."
Nice work Jeff, those are some really insightful words you have there.
Kidding. Put the tapes down (metaphorically speaking) and then go back to your dolphin noises, you're better off.