Overview
Merrick Watts has some charming words for cafe workers who want to be treated like human beings. Appearing on Channel Nine's Today program, where the discussion centred around a number of Melbourne cafes who refuse service to customers who order while talking on the phone, the radio host and alleged comedian let loose on "hipster" baristas, proclaiming that they should "just make me the coffee" and that "you're not doing real work."
"I'm paying for it, so how about you just give it to me, as opposed to the hipster attitude with your beard and all your weird mermaid tattoos," said Watts, to the delighted chortles of his fellow panellists. "Are you a sailor, or are you making coffee?"
"Just give me the coffee, let me talk on the phone, 'cause we can't have a conversation, I don't need to engage, because I don't speak pirate!" If you can stomach the rest of the rant, you can watch the 9 News video here.
Presumably it's been a while since Watts has deigned to associate with anyone who works in the hospitality industry. Thing is, we actually know quite a few baristas — many of whom work 40+ hours each week. One former Melbourne barista described a typical shift as "8-9 hours without sitting, often 10+ orders deep, trying to juggle customer expectations of friendliness with prompt service". They added: "People on phones generally slowed down the whole process and would often be the first to return a coffee if you'd misinterpreted their wild arm waving."
We're not saying you have to be best mates with your barista . And yes, we've all encountered a rude one from time to time — but maybe part of the reason for that are people like Watts, who think it's totally fine to treat lesser paid hospo workers like vending machines. At the end of the day, it's not that hard to take 15 seconds and actually engage with the person on the other side of the counter. Or, if you're really not feeling it, order from a skip-the-queue app and go on your way.