The Ten Best Bars and Eateries of Remuera

Awards season has wrapped up in Hollywood, but Concrete Playground has a few foodie trophies left to distribute to Auckland’s very own land of the rich and famous: Remuera. The place has some seriously good eats that are severely underrated. Maybe because they just haven’t been discovered yet, or maybe Aucklanders are too intimidated by the Remmer-elite to take over their tables and taste the tucker they have on offer. Either way, CP is here to give Remuera eateries the critical acclamation they deserve.

Here are the nominees for Remuera’s best eats.

1. Banque Oyster Bar and Eatery

Our first nominee is Banque Oyster Bar and Eatery. Banque is the best restaurant in Remuera. I will fight anyone that disputes it. Once you know exactly what to choose from the bible-length menu, and are familiar with the wait staff, the place is right up there with Auckland’s best.  I can understand why Banque hasn’t been properly applauded in the past – it is pretty intimidating. The deep room, the long menu, and the high prices all make Banque a high-class nominee. Think Jennifer Aniston. Clean, rich, classy and exceptionally talented in their choice of field. For Aniston it is acting, but for Banque it is oysters. There aren’t many things in the world that can beat freshly shucked oysters served on ice, and Banque does them well. They are definitely the must-have on the menu. Other than that, opt for the small plates and always go for the seafood. Especially if it’s raw.

Wins: Best restaurant. Best oysters. Best restaurant for those trying to lose a few, (servings are conservative – you’ll leave feeling skinny).

311 Remuera Rd, Remuera, Auckland

2. Shore Road Cafe

If you’re out for lunch in Remmers, you should go to Shore Road Café. The place is off the beaten track, so the Remuerians (people from Remuera should start calling themselves this. You are welcome, Auckland) like to keep it as their little secret. Don’t let them. This nominee has your typical brunch menu with a few quirks thrown in, like the vegan sticky black rice. I’ve heard good things about it, but the though of black rice terrified me, so I couldn’t bring myself try it out. Another oddity on the menu is the shakshuka. I didn’t want to order it, but my waiter made me do it. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank him; it was one of the best foodie risks I’ve ever taken. The dish consists of peppers cooked with onion and tomato, served with eggs and bread and feta. Sigh. Also, the salads on offer in the cabinet are always good, and change according to the season.

Wins: Best café. Best shakshuka. Best pushy staff members who actually know their stuff.

13 Shore Rd, Remuera, Auckland

3. Soi

There is no shortage of Japanese eateries in Auckland. That is the only reason I can think of as to why Soi isn’t better loved and more raved about. The décor is impressive (even by Remuera standards,) with a bamboo entrance and a classy but cosy dining room. The saikyo-yaki snapper was recommended to me, and it didn’t disappoint. Also the angus beef tataki deserves a shoutout because it was pretty delicious, and served with a soy based citrus dressing that really compliments the dish. I’m sorry, carnivores, but Soi’s tofu was the standout dish here. Bad tofu is bad. Good tofu, on the other hand, could even give Banque’s oysters a run for their money. Especially Soi’s tofu. It is silky smooth in texture, and they flavour it with sea salt, which adds to the main event without drawing any attention away from the quality of the tofu.

Wins: Best Japanese. Best tofu. Best dressed – both the food and the interior are the equivalent of wearing Valentino on the red carpet –chic and sophisticated.

596 Shore Road, Remuera, Auckland.

4. Thai Village

There are almost as many Thai places around the city as there are Japanese places, and Remuera is home to its fair share of them. But the only Thai eatery to make our nominees for the best of Remmers, is Thai Village, Remuera’s very first Thai restaurant. The head chef, Savang, is a Thai cuisine veteran, and has cooked in hotels and restaurants all over the world. All the food is your classic quality Thai cuisine, and the atmosphere is authentically Thailand, but there is one dish that really makes the dining experience unique. The Gai Ob is a whole chicken marinated in Thai herbs, flambéed in brandy and served with sweet chilli. Oh, and it is brought to the table completely on fire. A flaming chicken. If you’re on a first date and worrying about a lack of table talk, this fire-breathing chook should keep the conversation flowing. Quality entertainment and a quality dish.

Wins: Best Thai and Best travelled chef. Best mid-meal entertainment.

10/415 Remuera Rd., Remuera

5. Browns Espresso Bar

What good is a foodie neighbourhood without some quality coffee to accompany your eats? Browns Espresso Bar is Remmers’ answer to a good cuppa. Browns is good at coffee. The best at coffee. By way of Hollywood, think Jonah Hill. He is really good at playing the awkward, unfortunate class clown that makes everyone cringe. I’m sure he could play other roles too, but why mess with a good thing? Well, at Browns the food is fine, with a few popular salads and sandwiches at the counter. But coffee is definitely their forte, and the reason they are on the list of nominees. Also, the service is great, and if you are a local, or are so addicted to their coffee that you travel from afar to retrieve it, there is a good chance they’ll remember your order. Enjoy the cup of goodness whilst you kick back in the courtyard or the outdoor garden in full Remmers’ style. You’ll definitely want a second cup, and a third, maybe a fourth. Because coffee.

Wins: Best coffee. Best coffee. Did I mention best coffee?

409 Remuera Rd, Remuera

6. The Deli

Even if The Deli wasn't a great café, it would be nominated purely because of its deli selection. The range of olives and cheeses at the back of the cafe is impressive, and they also have some dangerously good-looking cakes. Other than the deli offerings, the café has an expansive brunch and lunch menu, with a solid French toast, and a decent eggs bene. They also have a section for frozen meals. If you’re not much of a cook, but want to deceive dinner guests with that crucial home-cooked façade, then the chicken Marbella would make for the perfect pretence. If you’re looking at feeding a few more than just the usual dinner party, then the café also has a catering option with reasonable prices.

Wins: Best deli. Best catering service. Best place to buy a frozen meal which you can then pretend you cooked yourself because the dishes have a list of all the ingredients on the back.

419 Remuera Rd, Remuera

7. Pukeko Bakery

I know that lots of people would argue that Pukeko Bakery is in Parnell, not Remmers. Including their website. And including their postcode. But it is on Ayr Street, and that makes it a Remuera eatery in my eyes. Plus I just really wanted to write about it because it is really good. Back on track. Pukeko Bakery is a cute little thing up the top of Ayr Street. It is operated by a couple of passionate bakers who take a whole lot of pride in the bread they produce, and for good reason. Their bread is always fresh and delicious, with that home-made taste that supermarket bread fails at so miserably. As well as your usual sammy bread, the place does a range of specialty breads and sweets. My flatmate swears by their almond croissants, and I’m going to go ahead and say that their fruit loaf is the best I’ve had. It is no wonder that Parnell and Remuera argue about who gets to claim one of the best bakeries in Auckland.

Wins: Best bakery. Best almond croissants and fruit loaves. Best location to attract both Parnellians and Remuerians.

1 Ayr St, Parnell, Auckland

8. The Maple Room

The Maple Room has been around a while. And I’ve been in Remuera a while. To be honest The Maple Room just never sparked my interest, and I’d never heard much about it. Well, I humbly apologise. And please take a foodie award or two Maple Room, because you were definitely a pleasant surprise. The place is always pumping with locals, and booking ahead of time would be your best bet at getting a table during peak hours. Sure, the prices are high for the upmarket bistro-ish menu, but you’re in Remuera – the Hollywood of Auckland, what did you expect? The highlight of the meal was, without a doubt, the lamb rump. It is served with walnut butter. If you’ve never heard of/experienced the wonder that is walnut butter then your life is unfulfilled. It makes for the most amazing accompaniment for the lamb, so much that you’ll want to order a bowl of walnut butter soup as a side. The place also has a thorough wine list, and a nice little selection of tapas if you are that way inclined.

Wins: Best vibe. Best surprisingly good restaurant. Best lamb. Bonus award for figuring out that walnut butter is a thing and should always be eaten with lamb.

93 Upland Road, Remuera

9. Ile de France

You know how Colin Firth won an Oscar for his portrayal of King George in that King’s Speech movie. Well ile de france wins a foodie award for its portrayal of a genuine French eatery. Probably because the chef, Gilles Papst is super French, reigning from Alsace where he learnt to cook authentic real French cuisine. His duck dish was great, served with buttered savoy cabbage, a mushroom terrine, duck breast ham and a light jus. It was a decent sized serving, too, which is sometimes hard to come by with duck. But what I really want to talk about is the fries. The. Fries. I know I rave on about fries way too often, I just really like them. Especially these ones. Probably because they are cooked four times. Yes four. Don’t you dare go to ile de france without ordering the fries. I don’t care that you’re on the Dukan, or that you’ve got high cholesterol. They’re worth it.

Wins: Best French. Best Fries. Best chance of having a heart attack due to clogged arteries after eating not one but two bowls of fries.

2 Nuffield Street, Newmarket, Auckland

10. Cafe Monet

You might think that Café Monet is being listed for best French. It does have a French name after all. But alas you are mistaken. Café Monet is the most ethnically diverse eatery in Remmers. Kind of like the Naomi Campbell of Remuera. Her ethnicity is defined as Afro-Jamaican, Chinese-Caucasian. Well, Café Monet may be even more multiracial. French chocolate cake, Italian pizza, Greek spanakopita, and German strudel fill the cabinet. But never fear, Monet conquers each of the regions with surprisingly successful conviction. My dining partner loved her bacon and egg filled bap, and I can vouch for the spanakopita. Also. I am not a huge fan of chocolate cake. But I can still recall the exact rich taste and smooth texture of Monet’s French chocolate cake. Maybe I was just in dire need of a choc-fix, but I’m pretty sure the cake was quite divine.

Wins: Best chocolate cake. Best courtyard. Best range of almost every single national cuisine all packed into one cabinet.

55 Remuera Rd, Auckland