Overview
Taking quality of beard and beardiness of lyrics as the two main factors, South Australian folk rock foursome The Beards are definitely at least one of the beardiest bands in music today. But they’re not the only band with facial hair that says a lot about their music. In anticipation of The Beards The First World Tour, which is currently making its way around the US before wrapping up on our eastern states in June, learn to know your EDM from your alt country by facial hair alone with this list of eight genre-defining beards.
1. THE INDIE FOLK BEARD
Like the warm sounds of a guitar and a country-tinged melody, the indie folk beard is rural, familiar and comforting. It is comprised of a mid-density beard with rugged chops and a clearly defined moustache section. Often those two parts will merge slightly, but if so there will normally be some form of styling gel involved so the moustache retains definition. See Justin Vernon and Iron & Wine’s Samuel Beam, and closer to home, Angus Stone’s is a bristly contender.
2. THE CLASSIC ROCK BEARD
In the same family is the classic rock beard, a more rugged and manly development that suggests life on the road and an inoffensively boisterous attitude. It can be seen on the faces of Clutch’s Neil Fallon, The Black Keys’ Dan Auerbach and most bands signed to Sub Pop in Seattle. The main feature of the rock beard is its thickness, while length can vary. It is also, despite its bushiness and proximity to the mouth, not a very dirty beard.
3. THE RAP BEARD
Rappers don’t get the ladies because of their smooth rhymes, they get them because of their smooth mutton chops and well-groomed chin curtains. See: Ice Cube, 50 Cent, Flo Rida and P. Diddy.
4. THE METAL BEARD
A fun thing to do is imagine the guys from metal bands plaiting their beards and fastening them with those little beads. They do this frequently, and it is maybe one of the reasons so many metal bands originate from Scandinavia, where hair is usually long and silky and lends itself well to styling.
5. COUNTRY
Pioneering this style were Kris Kristofferson and Willie Nelson in the Highwaymen era. After a brief fling with the pornstache, country beards seem to be reverting back to that unkempt style, which is increasingly evident in light of the popularity of modern and alternative country. Zac Brown and Alabama Shakes’ Zac Cockrell in particular suggest both genre and beard and only betting bigger from here.
6. THE MOTLEY COLLECTION
A discrepancy between styles of facial hair often goes hand in hand with a discrepancy between styles of music. This is particularly true concerning two of the worst reasons to have been born in the late ‘80s: System of a Down and Linkin Park. Part Swedish hardcore and part magician rock with a weak attempt at 'urban' thrown in, it’s just a recipe for confusion.
7. THE ELECTROBEARD
Have you ever noticed that electronic artists appear to have good levels of personal hygiene? This is seems to be echoed in their facial hair, which is normally non-existent or well groomed and not excessive in length. Al Doyle of Hot Chip and our own Oliver Tank both have excellent beards, and it’s pretty much impossible to imagine Flume with a wild face mane.
8. THE GANDALF
Some older rock bands make attempts to stay relevant, while others give youth the proverbial finger by growing massively daggy beards. The most famous example of this would be ZZ Top, made up of two fiercely bearded Texans and one beardless (and unfittingly named) Frank Beard. See also Benny and the Jets, a Detroit rock band formed several years before Elton John’s hit of the same name.
