Scientists Have Proven the Existence of Beer Goggles
Your one night stand just got a little more scientific.
Did you wake up this morning with a pounding headache, a few Instagram selfies of you and a beardy blur that looks like Zach Galifianakis, and a strange number in your phone? Good news! Your horrible life decisions are actually not your fault at all — it's science! Or at least that's what we'll tactfully choose to deduct from the latest research out of Spain.
Researchers at the University of Granada have recently published a study that scientifically proves the existence of beer goggles. Proving that the eye actually suffers a significant deterioration in optical quality after alcohol consumption, these boozing brainiacs figured out that ethanol from the alcohol you consume makes its way into your tear ducts and clouds the outermost layer of your tear film. This affects the quality of the image you see and, when drinking at night, it increases the perception of luminous circles — halos — around the objects you view.
Giving an entirely new meaning to a certain Beyonce song, this new phenomenon manifests itself best at night and ends up looking a little something like this:
Pouring various quantities of prize-winning Spanish wine into their 67 subjects — who knew science was so glamourous? — the researchers deducted that these halos were most prevalent in the volunteers whose breath alcohol limit exceeded the legal driving range of 0.25mg/litre. As if we needed more evidence that you shouldn't drive under the influence, this gives some physical proof to why drunk drivers are dangerous behind the wheel. But it also has important implications for your romantic life.
Picture this: you're in a dim-lit underground bar with romantic candles perched around some snug booths and a dance floor. You've partaken in a certain 2-for-1 cocktail special and followed it up with a selection of shots named after 1950s movie stars (because, what can you say, you're classy like that). A man approaches, all bearded and stylish with an effortless Joaquin Phoenix-style strut. The music's too loud and you can't really hear what he says, but you feel somewhat compelled to mush your lips on his face, slip him your number, or some smooth combination of the two.
With scientific fact in hand, maybe now you can think twice before trusting your Grey Goose-laden eyes.
Published on June 21, 2014 by Meg Watson