The Banal Flat White Has Just Gotten Controversial

Let's be honest. No one hates the flat white. Located right in the middle of the two radical poles of the coffee spectrum  - the bitter mule kick that is an espresso and the endlessly foamy and mostly chocolatey mocha - lies the flat white. It's a please-all inoffensive caffeinated drink that business suits and easy-going jandal-wearing students can all enjoy. And what's not to like: it's fluffy, but not too fluffy; it's coffee.

However, controversy has erupted over the silky foamed beverage, after Starbucks adopted the flat white into its menu. Soon after the news broke, former Wellingtonian barista Fraser McInnes quickly laid claim to being the 'inventor' of the flat white. As it stands, reputed sources (Wikipedia), state that the flat white was invented in Australia, and merely "developed [further] in New Zealand". Meanwhile, on Team Sydney, coffee enthusiast Ian Bersten is "100 percent certain that flat whites were in existence" in 1984. His word is as good as any other's from either side of the debate.

To add to the confusion, McInnes admits that other flat whites may have preceded his, but those recipes - such as the Auckland flat white of a single shot of coffee with warm milk - were not the ones adopted by Starbucks. Which makes all the difference, really.

No, really.

Let's review the facts: The 'flat white' as it has become known, is a halfway point between a cappuccino and a latte. So practically-speaking, it's not an invention, but (at best) an indecisive cop out - or just plain barista inadequacy. Even said self-proclaimed flat white inventor reports that what he was really just trying to make back in 1989 was a cappuccino, but screwed up the foam-to-coffee ratio. "[I was] trying to make this cappuccino and it just wouldn't work, so I looked down and said, well, it's flat and it's white, so said to the woman, 'Well sorry, but it's a flat white,'" says Mr McInnes. His business partner then listed the drink option on their menu with explanatory note "a Wellington flat white is a failed cappuccino."

That's not an invention, guys.  No need to pull the pavlova/Phar Lap card over this.

McInnes has been further quoted in Stuff calling his failed cappuccino New Zealand's "greatest contribution to the world's cuisine since the pavlova". If anything McInnes claims is true we should all be crawling into our own individual holes of foodie shame. Thank heavens for Al Brown and Simon Gault's spice range. That's all I have to say.

Via 3 News, Stuff