Overview
As the popularity of mobile dating apps comes to an explosive peak, Melbourne bars have noticed a sudden increase in clientele on first dates. Walk into any city bar on a weeknight and you'll no doubt notice the coupled patrons tucked into darkened corners, exchanging awkward questions about where they live or work and what their hobbies involve, and inevitably drinking too much wine to calm their nerves.
Choice of bar is a crucial factor to setting up a successful first date; the venue must be quiet enough to encourage conversation but retain sufficient buzz and ambience to avoid awkward silences. Here's our list of Melbourne CBD (and nearby) venues that provide optimal first date conditions.
Sister Bella
Rough and relaxed in the greatest possible way, Sister Bella epitomises Melbourne's haphazard, milk crate-cramped, longneck-lovin' laneway culture that made our small bar scene famous. It's a little tricky to find — be sure to budget a bit of extra time so you're not late to your date — but once you arrive you'll find it as comfortable as drinking in your mates' sharehouse. Just be sure to walk past the first bar in the alley (Baroq House) and keep going to the end of the lane, or else you could end up experiencing a very different evening altogether.
The bar staff at Sister B's are brilliant and are more than happy to set the mood (extra candles, flowers, and prime position in a cosy nook) if you get there before your date shows up and give them a heads up on the deal.
22 Drewery Place (enter via Sniders Lane), Melbourne, facebook.com/sisterbella
Cookie (back bar)
While the main bar/restaurant is rambunctious with noise — laughter, clashing cutlery and clinking glassware — the secretive back bar is mellow, and conducive to a late night liaison any night of the week. There's something to please everyone on the drinks menu here (it's more appropriately described as an encyclopaedia volume), whether it be beer, wine or cocktails — making the venue ideal for those occasions when you're unsure of your company's tastes. Being one of those 'must-see venues for Melbourne tourists, it's unlikely you'll run into any regular mates here — unless of course they're on sneaky dates too.
First floor, 252 Swanston Street, Melbourne, (03) 9663 7660, cookie.net.au
LongPlay
It's eclectic, laid back and charming — just like your Tinder bio. But with the inclusion of occasional live music and the small cinema out back, LongPlay delivers spectacular first date conditions in which to enjoy either intense political debate or eyelash-batting and footsies. To take pressure off the situation, busy yourselves by nibbling on offerings from the European-inspired bar snack menu, which features restrained, but contemporary constructions of risotto, salad and tapas. If conversation isn’t flowing, a few rounds of the relatively affordable cocktails should make time go by more rapidly.
A neighbourhood favourite for Fitzroy North dwellers, the bar is best avoided if you're already a local. If not, it's the perfect place for an anonymous rendezvous.
318 St Georges Road, Fitzroy North, longplay.net.au
City Wine Shop
Situated opposite Parliament and alongside the theatre strip, City Wine Shop is not the place to venture for a beer and happy hour special. On the contrary, this is the place you go for a glass of Chablis, cheese board and a serve of crispy whitebait. Choose from the by-the-glass wine list — which changes regularly — or simply buy a bottle from the on-premise bottle shop and settle in at an outdoor table, overlooking the Spring Street suits. It's a classic setting for year-round romance, whether you're seeking sanctuary from winter inside CWS's rich wooden warmth, or a splash of sun with your latte on an street-side seat.
159 Spring Street, Melbourne, (03) 9654 6657, citywineshop.net.au
The Standard
While everyone else is hovering for a seat and queuing for their parma at The Napier down the road, The Standard has retained a suite of loyal locals since it was first built in the 1860s. Sometimes neglected, the pub boasts an outdoor beer garden, broad range of wine and a cracker list of kitchen specials that proudly stand up against surrounding pubs in the area — only without the competition to find a place to park your bum. Plus, there are tramlines on nearby Smith and Brunswick Streets if the date goes badly (or really, really well) and you decide to abandon ship in a hurry.
293 Fitzroy Street, Fitzroy, (03) 9419 4793, thestandardhotel.com.au
Neapoli
This lesser-known, all day wine bar — which is reminiscent of a 1950s diner — is worth a visit just to check out the architecture, with its wide windows, curved lines and spectacular mezzanine (why it features a life-size birdcage remains a mystery, but it will surely provide a solid talking point if conversation requires rescuing). An excellent option for a cheeky daytime wine or late lunch date, the menu spans everything from charcuterie platters and club sandwiches to oysters and duck curry, with a superior but accessible wine list.
30 Russell Place, Melbourne, (03) 9650 5020, neapoliwinebar.com.au
Gin Palace
After Neapoli, head a few doors down to subterranean speakeasy Gin Palace. Renowned for its martinis, late night snacks and popularity with both insomniacs and Melbourne's hospitality crowd, it's a great location to bag a bartender after a long shift. Rich, luxurious and flush with cushioned surfaces and secretive enclaves, it almost begs for a sneaky pash on a dim corner lounge. Ever better, escape with your date to the hidden, fairy-light-lit den that links the venue to Bar Ampere next door...
10 Russell Place, Melbourne, (03) 9654 0533, ginpalace.com.au
The Rum Diary
Named after the Hunter S. Thompson novel, this Brunswick bar tips a tiny nod to Johnny Depp, lord of sexy pirates. Amongst the nautically-themed dark wood decor sits a world-spanning selection of the devil's tipple — we're talking over 150 rums, from Angostura to Diplomatico, to their own house-made specialty. It's a great space for a quiet chat with a new acquaintance (maybe even the odd grope, depending on level of rum consumed), or just to test your date out on the down-low. Alternatively, you can secure prime street-view position at the window seats if you've hit the online dating jackpot and want to showcase your dating success to the rest of Fitzroy. Or just perve at the tattooed, bearded blokes of Brunswick Street.
334 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy, (03) 9939 0616, rumdiarybar.com.au
Gerald's Bar
Old fashioned and charming, just like its owner Gerald, this local European wine bar is as close as you can get to taking your date home with you without being so forward. It's welcoming and homely, and ideal for intimate discussions while still creating a lively mood (largely thanks to the vinyl records rolling around the turntable at a moderate volume, without being overbearing). Super-slick staff intuitively know when to rescue the conversation, and when to back off. For instance, at those moments when you are gently caressing a woman's thigh or — just as good — enjoying a platter of wafer-thin jamon. Open evenings only.
386 Rathdowne Street, Carlton North, (03) 9349 4748, geraldsbar.com.au
Whisky & Alement
Ladies, this is the kind of advice you'll never read in a Cosmo mag, but bring your date here and he'll be forever impressed by your whiskey knowledge. If you don't actually have any whiskey knowledge at all, just order something with 'Glen' in its name and you should be safe. Although the venue stocks around 500 bottles of the bespoke booze, there's no need to be intimidated — the staff are overwhelmingly friendly, unpretentious, and happy to guide the uninitiated. Plus, the venue is always swarming with well-dressed men, so if the date doesn't quite work out, you can get straight back on the wagon.
270 Russell Street, Melbourne, (03) 9654 1284, whiskyandale.com.au