2014: When We Were Idiots

Overview

Take a trip through Melbourne’s past, present and future in the only show at the Comedy Festival in which getting hit by a tram is a legitimate possibility. A historical walking tour of the CBD hosted by a giant, talking, anthropomorphic penguin, Xavier Toby’s When We Were Idiots probably isn’t the funniest show you’ll see this festival season, but scores major points for thinking outside the box.

Ticket-holders meet their flightless tour-guide in front of the Burke and Wills statue on the corner of Collins and Swanston Street. After handing out high-vis safety vests, he launches into his pitch: the year is 2114 — an enlightened era in which everything is recycled and all tools of warfare have been replaced with hilarious alternatives. The one exception to this global utopia is Melbourne, lost a century prior beneath a mountain of coffee cups and hipsters. Uncovered by future archaeologists, the city exists now only as a testament to the stupidity of the past. That and a way for an enterprising penguin to make a buck.

Why Toby is dressed like penguin is one of the many vaguely surreal things about When We Were Idiots, an experience that definitely works best if you embrace its fly-by-the-pants format. Strolling at a brisk pace along Swanston Street. before taking a left turn into Bourke Street Mall, punters are treated to morsels of popular trivia about Melbourne’s original settlement, along with outlandish anecdotes from the 22nd century and jabs at contemporary politics and pop culture.

At the same time, participants are actively encouraged to engage with the members of the public, who Toby insists are simply actors he has employed in the service of his elaborate tour. Special points are offered to anyone who can steal a policeman’s gun. “If you get into trouble, tell them the giant Penguin told you to do it,” Toby says. “That should clear everything right up.”

Unfortunately, even more so than in a regular live show, there are certain factors outside of Toby’s control. These might include but are not limited to: noisy streets, the B.O. and/or chain-smoking habits of your fellow festival-goers or, worst of all, someone in the audience who thinks they’re the comedian (shout out to Damo: you’re a total fucking wanker).

Nevertheless, for those looking for less traditional options this Comedy Festival, When We Were Idiots is a thoroughly entertainingly experience. There’s also a free beer coaster in it for you at the end, so really, how could you go wrong?

For more coverage of the 2014 Melbourne International Comedy Festival check our regularly updated festival diary.