I Just Learned Vogel's New Bread and Butter Ice Cream is an April Fool's Joke and I'm Devastated
Make it real Vogel's, you cowards.
By now you're probably sick to death of seeing an influx of April Fool's gags cross your social media feeds and/or news websites.
We get it — local food vendors think nothing is more hilarious than pretending like they've launched a fully coriander-based burger or a Mi Goreng cookie, which for an hour they believe to be truly the height of comedy. And most of the time, I can let it go and wait until the wink wink, nudge nudge, "we're painting the Sky Tower PINK!" gags have left my feed.
But today I'm using my platform to stand tall and point my finger at one of the country's most beloved food brands Vogel's, something that any other day might cause me to have my citizenship revoked.
I'm a big carbohydrate lover and a big ice cream lover, and truly believe the two best go hand-in-hand. Ice cream on waffles or pancakes? Love it, give it to me. Biscuits or an elegant cracker crumb on a sundae? F**k yeah, load that shit up.
So when I saw that Vogel's had actually done something a little bit out of the box and launched an ice cream based on that classic Brit dessert staple, bread and butter pudding, I was jazzed. As recently as this week, beloved local ice cream parlour Duck Island launched a speciality Easter ice cream stuffed with hunks of Ima's iconic hot cross buns, so it does happen. There are even recipes online to make bread and butter ice cream, but who can be assed with that?
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The iconic Kiwi breadmakers promised a "deliciously creamy bread and butter-flavoured ice cream made with chunks of Vogel's". Jonesing for a release date, I got all ready to email the PR promising coverage if they could send me 100 tubs, STAT.
Then I realised the date and the truth dawned on me — I had been had. Even with my seasoned cynical eye across my feed, I had been sucked into a gag hook, line and sinker.
Why? Because it's a shit joke but a great idea, and if Vogel's cared at all for our wellbeing they would team up with a local ice cream maker — Lewis Road Creamery? Little 'Lato? Duck Island? — and make it ASAP.
According to the comments on the post, I'm in the majority here. At last count, there were no less than 12 comments calling for its real release, including one person who said they'd "riot" if it wasn't true which might be extreme, but honestly, I get it.
Listen to the people Vogel's, and in the meantime please know that until you launch this deliciously creamy and carb-laden dessert for real, I will be having my Vegemite on another bread of choice in the mornings*.
Vogel's new bread and butter ice cream is FICTIONAL and you cannot buy it anywhere, but you can find their completely fine bread offering here, I guess.
*This is a lie.
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