Concrete Playground's Road Trip Essentials
Road trips are an idealised summertime activity, but when the heats eases in autumn there's really no better time to be in the car for extended periods of time.
Road trips are an idealised summertime activity, but when the heats eases in Autumn there's really no better time to be in the car for extended periods of time. If you do it right, you come away with good friends and esoteric stories which will never be understood properly by people who weren't there. But it's equally possible for road trips to turn hellish and monotonous.
That's not what you want - that's not what anybody wants. So we have compiled a list of tips to help you on your way and make sure you have the kind of road trip which will remind you of the wind and sunshine in your hair, shared memories and in-jokes.
WHEELS
So this seems a superfluous point, but if you're going to go on a road trip you need a car, and if you don't have one then you've got yourself a problem. Once you've got the car, make sure it's one that everybody knows how to drive. Nobody likes being the only manual driver in a car full of stricken automatic-only drivers. You should also do all the practical things like get the oil, tyres and water checked before you leave, and make sure you've got back-ups in case of emergency, especially if you're trying to look like you know your stuff about cars. Bigger cars are better for road trips, especially if you've got friends with ample hips or ridiculously long legs. And for the love of God, make sure the car has air con.
A GREAT DESTINATION
Jumping in a car and heading nowhere might sound very Kerouac-esque for an hour or so, but in the end you're going to want to be heading somewhere. Holiday houses and camping grounds are all good, although there's a high likelihood a music festival might be your destination this autumn. If that's the case, be patient and anticipate that you will have to wait in a queue for six hours on a backed up country road and be forced to pee in the bushes in direct view of many headlights.
MAPS
Getting lost is not half the fun. The person who says it is needs to be ejected immediately from the vehicle. You probably have a GPS, but bear in mind that the GPS is not infallible. You need a map. A map in this instance is defined as a proper map you purchase from anywhere good maps are sold, not scrawled notes copied from Google Maps your barely literate friend drew on the back of a phone bill.
CREW
Be wise and consider precisely which of your friends and loved ones you're going to enjoy being in a cramped, confined space with for potentially several days. It's also a good idea to make sure there's not going to be anybody overly-familiar with their sense of personal space, particularly if they have personal hygiene issues. There's nothing more awkward than finding yourself on a road trip with a couple who have recently broken up and still have unresolved issues.
CONVERSATION
Once you've exhausted your witty high school stories, politics, childhood traumas and the ever-fascinating subject of who's having sex with whom, complex philosophical questions are always a good bet. Questions such as 'which of your legs could you do without' and 'would you rather punch Kyle Sandilands or Miranda Devine in the face' are good starting points.
MONEY
Money is a general necessity in all areas of life, but when we say 'money' here we mean the multi-coloured pieces of paper marked with numbers the ATM is wont to dispense. This is crucial because ATMs can be scarce in the bush, and on a road trip sharing is of the utmost importance.
SNACKS
It's a given that everyone is obliged to bring a lot of sugar on a road trip. Minties, Snakes and all things that once delighted you in children's birthday party bags are right and necessary when on the road. Hot chips with tomato sauce sold by old ladies with facial hair in country towns are also awesome. It's uncanny how the shops saying 'Best Pies in Grafton' actually do sell the best pies in Grafton.
MUSIC
If you've got one of those whatsits that plug your iPod into the car's stereo system, you're sweet. If you don't have one of those, however, you're going to want a couple of good mixtapes, or, more accurately, mix CDs. '60s pop songs, '80s power ballads and '90s rap should all be considered in the choice of music. You want to have songs that are going to remind you of the trip for years to come, an underlying theme for your future reminiscing, if you will.
RIDICULOUS APPAREL
Questionable fashion choices are a mandatory on the road. Nothing makes you feel more alive than climbing out of the car at a truckstop wearing something outrageously fluoro and swaggering inside to get yourself a rainbow Paddlepop. Furthermore, there is no more appropriate occasion for a man to sport short shorts. Stupid sunglasses and hats are fun, but bear in mind they might enrage Mick Taylor-types on the roads.
SUNSCREEN
Often overlooked in the relative shelter of a moving car, sunscreen is necessary for anybody with an arm in close proximity to a window. You don't want to get sunburnt, and unevenly sunburnt at that, while sitting in the car. More to the point, nothing will ruin your holiday more than being so sunburnt you have to wear shapeless kaftans with long sleeves and not being able to sleep at night because it hurts so bad.
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