Some Jerks Are Trying to Control the Outbreak of a Fairy Epidemic in an Enchanted Forest in England

It’s finally happening. The time is now. We were mocked and ridiculed for believing, but for those of us who kept our faith, our chance has come. We have been chanting since Tinkerbell’s near death experience in 1960, and keeping a log book of under-the-pillow-funds gathered thanks to lost teeth. Guys, fairies are finally making their existence known to humans.

The tiny woodland creatures have chosen to reveal their existence in Wayford Woods, a tranquil little forest in Somerset, England. It’s no surprise the fairies chose to inhabit these woods in particular. They are all mossy tree trunks, unfurling ferns and pastel petals. It’s sickeningly fairytale-worthy in there. The fairies are slowly but steadily making their residence known by erecting miniature doors on the trees that fill the forest. Maybe they are staking their land claim, maybe inviting us to visit, or maybe avenging those of us who have endured years of taunting thanks to our unwavering loyalty to the fairy cause, but they are here, and they are real.

The little doorways are screwed into the bottom of tree trunks forest-wide. Some are wooden and traditional, others can be opened to reveal tiny furniture behind, and some are doused in sparkles, glitter and coloured fluorescent pink. It is the latter, which the Wayford Woods Trust have decided, that must stop. "We’re not anti-fairy. But we’ve got little doors everywhere. It’s in danger of getting out of control", said Walford trustee Steve Acreman.

Issues of “quality control,” where doors are being created so garish that no self-respecting fairy would live behind them, are of concern to to Walford Trust, along with overpopulation and cramped living conditions for the pixies. And of course some wet blankets complained too. "Some older people, used to walking round the woods when they were untouched, have complained," Acreman said. The amount of fairy doors was said to be over 200 at population peak, with over 400 lodged fairy sightings throughout the year. It’s a fairy epidemic in there.

And so it is with much regret that the Walford Woods will be evicting some of the less classy fairies, and keeping only the most elaborate and tasteful doorways. We’re not even mad. It just means those fairies evicted for their lack of class will be setting up their little fairy sized trailer parks elsewhere. Fingers crossed they manage the long haul migration over to New Zealand.