Here’s That Veggie Haagen-Dazs No One Asked For
Meet Japanese 'healthy' flavours Carrot Orange and Tomato Cherry.
Have you ever been casually scoffing a big tub of rocky road ice cream — the kind with the hulking big chunks of chocolate and marshmallow that may just slip right into your heart valves, killing you right then and there — and thought, man, I wish there were some carrots up in this mix? I doubt it. Because no one has ever, or should ever have thought that.
Enter Haagen-Dazs' new Japanese offerings: Carrot Orange and Tomato Cherry; the ice cream flavours that have just usurped vanilla as the dull person's ice cream of choice.
Set to launch on May 12, the veggie flavours make up a new line of products appetisingly named Spoon Vege (you can't accuse them of being coy about it). "Carrot Orange [will] take the gentle flavour of carrot and add to it the fresh citrus taste and scent of orange, giving the carrot a sophisticated and refreshing twist," reads the translated press release that is astonishingly not satire. "Tomato Cherry [will] combine the natural sweetness of tomato with the fruity flavour of cherry, which should accentuate the rich taste of the tomato."
Now, Carrot Orange is clearly the winner of the two — carrot cake is a thing that exists, orange sorbet is acceptable. At the very least Carrot Orange can be a thing that annoying Gym People eat with half-guilty expressions. After all, these ice creams will be somewhat healthy; containing about half the amount of milk fat found in their sweeter counterparts.
But in any circumstances, Tomato Cherry: not okay. Chow down on some Cherry Garcia instead.
Published on April 24, 2014 by Meg Watson