A Melburnian’s Guide to Turning Japanese

I don't know about you, but according to my Instagram feed, it seems like a mid-year trip to Tokyo has pretty much become a prerequiste to calling yourself an authentic Melburnian. Japanese-inspired fashion, food and cultural activities seem to be what's down with the kids these days, and while we may not have designated cat-petting cafes or vending machines that dispense used underwear (as far as I'm aware), Melbourne's affinity for all things Japanese has certainly come a long way since sushi and sake. At the very least, basically everyone has seen Lost In Translation by now.

We've compiled a little guide to navigate you through the pockets from Zen to kawaii on our side of the Asia-Pacific.

FASHION

PET SHOP GIRLS

Pet Shop Girls emerged in 2012 as a haven for gals with a penchant for Japanese steeze, with owner Chiara Ippoliti’s impeccable taste bridging the gap between cool and kawaii. It stocks cult Japanese brands including Ne-Net, Tsumori Chisato Cats and Merci Beaucoup as well as local darlings Dress Up, Pageant, Verner and POMS. You could play drunken, blindfolded dress-ups in Pet Shop Girls and still be guaranteed to emerge looking better than even the most considered selection from the 'snazzy' part of your existing wardrobe.

Curtin House, Level 3, 252 Swanston Street, Melbourne City

Sav Sav

Melbourne babe Savannah Anand-Sobti's newly established accessories brand SavSav! draws inspiration from Japanese textiles and street style, using fabrics and knickknacks sourced on a recent trip to Japan to produce the best ever little clutches, totes and hugely popular fluffy pompom earrings (available at FAT stores). Seriously, since purchasing one of her circle purses I have become a notably more fun person.

UNIQLO

Autumn 2014 will see the opening of major Japanese retailer Uniqlo as a key tenant in the soon-to-be Melbourne Emporium on Lonsdale Street. It's renowned for its simple aesthetic, well-made basics and affordable price point, so never again will you need to rent a corner of Japan Visiting Friend's suitcases.

ACTIVITIES

ONSEN MA

In almost all contexts, getting naked, scouring my body of all its sins and submerging my raw, vulnerable form in hot water for purification purposes is something that I’d probably take a rain check on. Pretty much the only place I’ll allow an exception to this stringent no public nakedness rule is in an onsen — a Japanese bathhouse where mind, body and soul cleansing is the game, and nudity is the only rule. Onsen Ma in the CBD offers the traditional bathing experiences, so get over yourself and get your kit off for ultimate relaxation, Japanese style.

Level 1 / 12 -18 Meyers Place, Melbourne City

JAPANESE FILM FESTIVAL

In its 17th year, the Japanese Film Festival is travelling the country at the moment and will be stopping off in Melbourne between November 28 and December 8. Screening sessions at both ACMI and Hoyts Melbourne Central, the diverse program will cover everything from anime to sci-fi to an intriguing genre entitled 'So Hot Right Now'. Where do I sign up?

LANGUAGE SCHOOL

Since the only Japanese language in your vocabulary is probably heavily reliant upon emoji, you may want to consider actually taking a course, you big, Japan-loving phoney. If the personal joy of enriching your mind and cultural perspective isn’t enough to convince you, consider the fact that one of Melbourne’s most reputable Japanese language schools is called JAPANEASY. Cutest ever! With this knowledge, you would have to be a genuinely bad person not to enrol.

Level 4, 126-128 Russell street Melbourne

FOOD

HINOKI

We Melburnians are unashamedly delighted to get on board a food trend. Like, there is a pop-up sushi bar in my local Woolworths (yes, I once got lunch there, and no I don't want to talk about it). If you’re looking for the real deal, Smith Street recently embraced Hinoki with open arms, a specialty Japanese grocery and sushi store that is legitimately the best place in the entire world. Watch while masters prepare fresh, amazing sushi for you before your eyes! Buy a box of Pocky and be the most popular person in the office! Be confused by strange, condom-like rubber casings called Finger Sacks (actual product I have encountered at Hinoki)! You’re guaranteed to find everything you never knew you needed and more here.

279 Smith Street, Fitzroy

SHOP RAMEN

A little further down on Smith Street, Shop Ramen set up a permanent space after its wildly successful pop-up venture in early 2013. Much to the delight of Northsiders, hungry lunchtime workers come in hoards for a hearty bowl of what I’m going to officially call the best ramen in all of Melbourne. Using the traditional Tokyo-style Tonkotsu ramen, Shop Ramen veers from the traditional Japanese hot broth with its own unique recipe, including insanely good pickled shiitake mushrooms and silky handmade noodles in a cashew milk broth. I am literally going to go and get a serve of tofu buns as soon as I've finished writing this. Finishing writing immediately.

329 Smith Street, Collingwood