Concrete Playground’s MICF 2014 Diary

For a month-long event, the Melbourne International Comedy Festival always seems to go by in a flash. You catch the Gala on TV, intend to book tickets, forget, get flustered when young comedians approach you outside Town Hall with flyers, then miss it all completely. To keep you in the loop, our team is out every night catching the best acts of the festival. Check in and see what's happening — we'll be updating regularly.

Colin Lane: Presents

Melbourne Town Hall, 8.30pm, $22-$28

Speaking as someone who saw an awful lot of MICF, this was easily one of the best shows at this year's festival. As his first in four years, Colin Lane Presents is less a traditional stand-up routine and more of a dynamic and self-reflexive character piece. Nervous and moody, Lane takes the stage as an experienced but jaded performer — a perfectly played version of himself. Sweating under the house lights, he runs though awkward audience banter, small musical pieces and pitch-perfect dad jokes all in an effort to reignite his career. Lane tells his audience he's been inspired by the immortal words of Gwen Stefani: "Take a chance, you stupid ho". It's a concept that's equal parts heartwarming and cringeworthy in a show that teeters on the knife edge of hilarious and unbearably awkward. All in all, a perfect demonstration that Lane doesn't need Frank Woodley by his side to get some decent laughs.

- Meg Watson, Arts & Culture editor

Stephen K Amos: What Does the K Stand For?

Athenaeum Theatre, 7.20pm, $40-$49

For a headlining international act, Stephen K Amos is one of the most familiar faces on the MICF circuit. No stranger to our shores, Amos has found his comedic niche in our niggling self-deprecating Australianisms and it doesn't look like he's letting up any time soon. In his latest show we see familiar forays into our accent, our bogan pub life and our "casual racism"— seriously, did everyone else know Chicko packets feature a black baby with one tooth nailed to a piece of wood? The sell-out crowd is clearly full of faithful fans and even small quips get a roaring reception. He's not shy about a bit of audience participation either, and the audience get decent mileage out of unsuspecting young art students while he's at it. All in all, it's not a new show but it's not a bad one either — it delivers the same comforting belly laughs you might get from your dad at Christmas dinner.

- Meg Watson, Arts & Culture editor

FanFiction Comedy

Melbourne Town Hall, Performing at various times, $18-$24

Fan fiction, for those that aren’t sure, is when stories are created using existing fictional characters and settings, but their original creators do not write them. In other words, Harry Potter can end up with Hermoine (or Draco) or — in tonight’s case — Sherlock Holmes can solve mysteries with Steve from Blues Clues. This is FanFictionComedy’s third year at MICF, and it appeared there were many in the audience who had seen them before. The show is presented by Wil Anderson who was not present this evening, but guest star Tom Ballard was, and he did an excellent job of describing in magnificent detail what Charmed: The Movie might look like if it ever gets the green light. Other fictional characters to make an appearance this evening were Iron Man and Thomas the Tank Engine — not in the same story, but certainly as you’ve never seen them before. It's astounding to think these stories will not be repeated again during the festival — every night that this talented troupe performs they bring with them a new story. Everyone who participated tonight was a creative storyteller who had perfect comedic timing and inflection as they read out their twisted tales. If you want to see some obsessively nerdy imagination translate into some vivid and hilarious stories, get onto FanFiction Comedy.

- Hannah Valmadre, writer

Late Night Letters and Numbers

Melbourne Town Hall, Mondays, 9:45pm, $17

Beloved by word nerds, numbers wizards and my parents, the short-lived SBS game show Letters and Numbers gets a low-rent revival at the Melbourne Town Hall, as some of the brightest stars of this year’s comedy fest put their dignity on the line. With what appears to be only a vague grasp of the original program’s rules, host Nick Caddaye tries in vain to keep his contestants on track through seventy minutes of word jumbles and maths problems, while a pair of dictionary wielding assistants chime in with helpful definitions to words like “slut” and “bath-poop.” A decidedly laid-back affair, Late Night Letters and Numbers is the perfect show for punters after something a little bit different, as well as anyone who enjoys the smug feeling of solving anagrams faster than the guy next to you. On once a week, with a rotating roster of competitors, no two editions will be the same. Audience members can also win free tickets to other shows at the festival by out-spelling the comedians on stage.

- Tom Clift, writer

Frank Woodley: Fool's Gold

Melbourne Town Hall, 8.20pm, $28 - $39.50

There's no denying that Frank Woodley is funny. His charming dopiness has become a trademark to the point that it's even mentioned in the show. "People often describe me as pathetic," he says. His physical comedy is endearing and well-timed, but his newest outing Fool's Gold won't deliver much more than the familiar schtick. There are definite highlights in the form of musical "whimsy" and a makeshift play performed by two audience members (pick your seat wisely). Surreal stories about the end of the world and his best friend — a horse with a human hand — also provide definite chuckles, but the show overall lacks a consistent theme or pace to make it memorable in its own right. Fool's Gold will satisfy punters that want to witness Woodley's brilliant character comedy in the flesh, but not those that want much else.

- Meg Watson, Arts & Culture editor

David O'Doherty: David O'Doherty Will Try To Fix Everything

The Forum, 9pm, $28.50 - $39

David O'Doherty has been a fixture of the MICF for the better part of the last decade and his work is only getting better with age. Even though the title of his latest show outwardly sets the bar pretty high, this loveable Irishman definitely makes good on his promise; David O'Doherty Will Try To Fix Everything is a surefire cure for any type of impending winter blues, and a perfect example of simply joyous stand-up (or sit-down) comedy. Exploring the pursuit of happiness through the small pleasures and problems of life, O'Doherty is consistently inventive, compassionate and earnest in both his confessions and advice. Songs about why Lance Armstrong is a douchebag are in fact cautionary tales about worshipping false prophets; a story about finding the perfect noise-cancelling headphones or internet provider is really a deterrent to investing happiness in material goods. Of course, O'Doherty himself is humble and no morals are plainly stated, but the messages still stand. This is a must-see show for both lovers of Casiotone keyboards and anyone having a tough week at work.

- Meg Watson, Arts & Culture editor

Cal Wilson: It Could Have Been Me

Melbourne Town Hall, 7.15pm, $26 - $32

Cal Wilson has recently turned 43, and it appears she’s been pondering her life decisions. What if she had done things a little differently? Her incredibly overactive imagination (a good quality to have if your line of work is stand-up comedy) ran wild and the show tells the story of her potential alter egos. What if she was a really misogynistic man who lived in London and wrote (fantastically graphic) erotic science fiction? Or if she became a safety obsessed children’s entertainer called Fairy Robot Sparkle? Thankfully the Cal Wilson we have today is just a straight-up sweetheart. Her show was enjoyable, creative, and cute in an occasionally disturbing way.

- Hannah Valmadre, writer

Tom Ballard: Un-Australian(ish)

Melbourne Town Hall, 8.30pm, $22 - $28

Tom Ballard has made the grand leap to pursue comedy full-time after leaving his radio gig at Triple J late last year, so it’s just as well that he was bloody awesome! Tom took us on an outback adventure, telling the story of his three-month family trip around Australia during his primary school years. Original diary entries from both his and his brother Gavin’s workbooks helped set the scene, which were both adorable and mortifying. That being said, it wouldn’t be a Tom Ballard gig without digging into the sorry state of Australian politics, and true to form, he doesn’t hold back. Tom’s vivid storytelling and fearless social commentary always make him a pleasure to watch.

- Hannah Valmadre, writer

Celia Pacquola: Let Me Know How It All Works Out

Swiss Club, 8.15pm, $25 - $30

What does the future hold for me? Will everything be okay, or will it turn to shit? Is there a fated, master plan behind everything we do, or are we just bags of bones making bad decision after bad decision? Everyone asks these questions, but rarely does anyone have answers to them that are even remotely funny. Thankfully, Celia Pacquola does. What starts as a story about visiting a palm reader in a field at a hipster arts festival continues through hilarious bits about break ups, reinventing yourself, adult decisions and drunk emailing. The biggest laughs of the night probably came from jokes about the heatwave — a peculiar, relatable, subset of Melbourne-based humour. You will come out of this excellent show wanting Celia Pacquola to be your best friend, even though she’s a little bit terrifying. She may not have all the answers to the above questions, but the ones she does have are hilarious.

- Jess O'Callaghan, writer

Matt Okine: Happiness Not Included

Swiss Club, 7.15pm, $19 - $29

While Matt Okine's been on the festival circuit for a few years, his recent appointment as Triple J breakfast co-host replacing Tom Ballard has definitely shot him up onto the national stage. Happiness Not Included, his first show since joining Triple J, sees Okine in a period of flux. He's reaching the end of his 20s and is examining his life with an all too familiar judiciousness. All the cups in his house are mismatched, he can never offer guests a clean towel, and the best his Bachelor of Fine Arts (Acting) has gotten him is a bit in a McDonald's ad grunting "Chicken!". If you're a 20-something who doesn't have their shit together (please say that's all of us), the show is relatable to say the least. However, and I know it's an ironic criticism, but the structure of the show seems a little aimless. Some stories are wandered into almost accidentally for little payoff, and the really big laughs only come when he's getting worked up over things in a manner reminiscent of Jerry Seinfeld. "What is up with those utensils in the second drawer down?" Ultimately this is what makes him great on radio, so I'm sure we'll see more of it in the years to come. Besides, being likened to this guy can hardly be a bad thing.

- Meg Watson, Arts & Culture editor

Lewis Hobba: Backs to the Wall

Fort Delta, 6.30pm, $15 - $20

It must be difficult to do a show about people who complain too much without coming across as a major league whinger yourself. Thankfully, Lewis’ self-deprecating nature steers the show out of this potential danger zone. Lewis is speaking directly to his generation for most of the show, discussing Facebook complaints, Upworthy, hipsters and the atrocity that is Tough Mudder. He is at his best when discussing his "hippy parents" and his childhood, from eating carob easter eggs to rocking up to the first day of school in a tutu. This is Lewis’ first solo comedy show, and I think he’s off to a strong start.

- Hannah Valmadre, writer

2014: When We Were Idiots

Meet at the corner of Collins & Swanston Street, various times, $10 - $20

A historical walking tour of the CBD hosted by a giant, talking, anthropomorphic penguin, Xavier Toby’s When We Were Idiots probably isn’t the funniest show you’ll see this festival season, but scores major points for thinking outside the box. After handing out high-vis safety vests, the guide launches into his pitch: the year is 2114 — an enlightened era in which everything is recycled and all tools of warfare have been replaced with hilarious alternatives. The one exception to this global utopia is Melbourne, lost a century prior beneath a mountain of coffee-cups and hipsters. Uncovered by future archaeologists, the city exists now only as a testament to the stupidity of the past. Punters are treated to morsels of popular trivia about Melbourne’s original settlement, along with outlandish anecdotes from the twenty-second century and jabs at contemporary politics and pop-culture. Unfortunately, even more so than in a regular live show, there are certain factors outside of Toby’s control. These might include but are not limited to: noisy streets, the B.O. and/or chain-smoking habits of your fellow festival-goers, or, worst of all, someone in the audience who thinks they’re the comedian (shout out to 'Damo': you’re a total fucking wanker). Nevertheless, for those looking to for less traditional options this Comedy Festival, When We Were Idiots is a thoroughly entertaining experience. There’s also a free beer coaster in it for you at the end, so really, how could you go wrong?

- Tom Clift, writer

Hannah Gadsby: The Exhibitionist

Melbourne Town Hall, 7pm, $28 - $37.50

Hannah Gadsby’s latest show The Exhibitionist is an exploration of art history and selfies, and where the two worlds meet. And, while the thought of going through a comedian's childhood photos and selfie experimentation is admittedly not an appealing exercise in theory, in reality it was downright hilarious. When a facial expression in one of Gadsby’s press photos is self-described as "shelving a wasabi pea" you know that all self-consciousness has gone out the window. In short, The Exhibitionist makes art history fun. It proves that vanity has been around for centuries, and Justin Beiber and Valdimir Putin have more in common than you might think.

- Hannah Valmadre, writer

Sam Simmons: Death of a Sails-man

The Famous Spiegeltent, 8.30pm, $24 - $32

"It's like this for the next hour, so you may as well get into it." Sam Simmons — dressed in wetsuit, wig and bumbag — is being humped in the head by a cardboard dolphin and understandably not all the audience are into it. While most comedians will describe themselves as polarising because they have strong political opinions, Simmons can really lay claim to the title when half the crowd see him as a crazed sex pest, and the other deem him a comic visionary. Either way, this show perfectly enables Sam to do his thing, and fans of his work will leave totally satisfied (if not a little violated). Unlike its Pulitzer Prize winning namesake, Death of a Sails-Man follows a muesli bar entrepreneur's descent into madness while lost at sea. In what is essentially a one man show (if we exclude the beleaguered stagehand who holds up cardboard cut-outs of Vin Diesel), Simmons truly shines. As he battles a sadistic internal monologue and frequently bursts into songs about lime jellyfish and space grandmas, the show is a surreal playground of the kind you won't find in any other MICF show. Whether that's a good or bad thing, just depends who you're talking to.

- Meg Watson, Arts & Culture editor

"Oh wait... this isn't Red Symons." The couple in front of me must have had a weird time at @samsimmonss last night. #MICF — Meg Watson (@msmegwatson) March 30, 2014

Doc Brown: Of Mic and Men

Victoria Hotel, 8.15pm, $27 - $35

Doc Brown has had massive success in his native UK, supporting Ricky Gervais and winning praise for his unique brand of incisive stand-up and hip-hop. It's the songs which intersperse his Melbourne show that make it shine. An early highlight sees Brown skewering the cookie-cutter nature of modern rap, imagining lyrics available by mail order, complete with square brackets for you to fill in your name. But as hilarious and inventive as his perversion of rap's arrogance and chauvinism can be, he's at his best in his passionate and breathless meditations on race and racism. Drawing on his upbringing by Jamaican and Irish parents in Kilburn, he explores and savages the misconceptions he's faced because of his "caramel" complexion.

- Eric Gardiner, writer

Headliners

Melbourne Town Hall, 9.45pm, $26.50 - $35.50

If a sampling plate of North America’s tastiest up-and-coming comedic talent sounds enticing to you, then Headliners is going to be your jam this Comedy Fest. The show has eight comedians participating overall, but each night only four perform, so it’s a bit of a lucky dip who you will get to see. First cab off the rank for us was Jen Kirkman, with her husky voice and a genuine concern for the idiots who walk among us. Interestingly, she covered topics like divorce and dating a younger man without bitterness or gloating; she was a brilliant start to the night. Dave Hill was next and his comedic timing was a thing of beauty. He certainly made an entrance by snapping the microphone stand before he’d even uttered a word, and he left us giggling at his erotic short stories. Brooke Van Poppelen followed with one disaster story after another; she got my laughs and my sympathy. Highlight of the night was closing act Seaton Smith who was bursting with energy, excitedly telling us about his new love and trying to grasp how Australian politics works. The collection who performed were all very strong performers with incredibly different styles to their comedy. I am tempted to go later in the festival to see what the other Headliners comedians have to offer.

- Hannah Valmadre, writer

Wil Anderson: Wiluminati

Comedy Theatre, 9pm, $30 - $49.90

Wiluminati is aggressively Australian. In this latest offering from the comedy stalwart, Anderson steers away from his once political roots and latches on to the 'Aussie larakin’ image we might expect from his ex-Glasshouse co-host Dave Hughes. Though Wil is the master of familiarising himself with an audience and making us feel like old friends laughing over a pint (though in this case I just sat there thirsty as he downed three), this change in style ultimately limited his ability to show intelligence or depth and the comedy fell a bit flat. There are moments of well-spun storytelling, rapid-fire audience interaction and endearing jokes about Anderson’s arthritis, sex life and a run in with Matt Damon. But where it would have been good to hear some harder hitting topical humour, he plays it safe. The show finds its strength in the moments of personal honesty but these are often short lived among outlandish and forced impersonations of Australian life.

- Bonnie Leigh-Dodds, writer

Max and Ivan: The Reunion

Melbourne Town Hall, 8.30pm, $26 - $33

Friendless, shy and allergic to everything under the sun, Brian Bollingsworth is the unlikely hero in The Reunion, a hilariously staged two man show from UK comedians Max and Ivan. When the performance begins, Brian is headed to his 10-year high school reunion, where he hopes to be reunited with his old crush Jessica. Instead, he finds himself faced with her arrogant Swedish boyfriend Cal (“spelled with a K…instead of the A”), who’s on the verge of popping the question. Max (tall, gangly and clean shaven) and Ivan (the opposite – he’s told at one point he looks like “a chubby Hitler”) nail the show’s physical comedy, running around the stage playing dozens of different characters across subplots, flashbacks, fantasy sequences, fight scenes, a geography-themed seduction and one brilliant moment of audience participation. An appropriate level of daggy self-awareness runs through the entire production, which is buoyed by an unassuming sweetness. You’ll fall in love with Brian and Jessica before the end, as will you their madcap comic creators.

- Tom Clift, writer

That moment your boyfriend becomes the subject of a heterosexuality test at a Paul Foot show... #frontrow #micf — Meg Watson (@msmegwatson) March 28, 2014

Paul Foot: Words

The Hi-Fi, 8.15pm, $26.50 - $35.50

"Don't worry, Paul Foot's not the kind of comedian who calls on the audience." I reassure my boyfriend of this as we take a seat in the front row. It's not until the eccentric Brit is off the stage, straddling my date and stroking his face that I realise my mistake — Paul Foot's stand-up is anything but predictable. Yes, he has a signature crazed walk and a constantly cheeky look in his eye, but the general thrust of his shows are difficult to decipher even after sitting through one. And, frankly that's what's so great. Words — a self-conscious journey through "disturbances", "madness", and "rookery-based humour" — is a testament to the artistry of Foot's skill as both writer and performer. While he gets deserved laughs through more conventional and cerebral set-ups about homosexuality and bigotry, he also seems to stumble across accidental comedy by declaring nonsensical statements about "horse jesus" or grabbing his foot at a 90 degree angle for no particular reason. Straddling the boundaries of political, physical and surrealist humour Foot is undoubtedly one of the most unique and talented comedians at the festival. Just maybe steer clear of the front row.

- Meg Watson, Arts & Culture editor

Wolf Creek The Musical

Trades Hall, 9.30pm, $15 - $22

If songs about wristies, murder and rape sheds don't strike your fancy, this isn't the show for you. I realise that's a strange way to start a review, but it's also entirely necessary to state. This low-budget re-make of the classic Australian horror film, Wolf Creek, is a total pisstake (in the best way possible). Pushing both genre and character into the absolute absurd, the show offers up deadpan black humour with perfect timing and original writing that hits every mark. Written by comedian James McCann and RAW Comedy winner Demi Lardner, this is a show for those that appreciate the unconventional. It's like the best primary school play you've ever seen (assuming all the children involved had serious social and behavioural problems).

- Meg Watson, Arts & Culture editor

Umbilical Brothers: Kidshow (Not Suitable For Children)

Arts Centre, 7pm, $34 - $39

As the lights go down, a French woman behind me says something to her companion. “These men, they do the physical very well, not so much the talking.” But as the much-loved comedians launch into (what they think) is a show for kids, their trademark brand of warp-speed slapstick is matched by whipcrack writing and dialogue. (The French woman ended up talking enough for the two of them throughout the show – “Who is this Tony Abbott?” — she’ll be joining the guys who colourised Citizen Kane in a special circle of Art Hell). The brothers are utterly committed to performing their show for a young audience, even as they start to have doubts about the "bearded 5-year-olds” in the front row. When they realise that there’s only one group of adults who would all come to a kids’ show, they try and appeal to the pervert market with an inspired sketch that sees them wreaking Tarantino-style ultraviolence on each member of an incestuous Brady Bunch: “Don’t worry Greg, I’m not your real mother!” All in all, it's a brilliant show, one that manages to weave together a complex meta-narrative with unadulterated laughs, all delivered at a frantic pace.

- Eric Gardiner, writer

Khaled Khallafalla: Fresh

Trades Hall, 9.30pm, $15 - $20

It’s clear from the get go that no topic is too taboo for Khaled. From stoner escapades to accumulating outrageous financial debt to impressions of other races we’re not sure we should have laughed at — he goes there. Yes, Khaled brought his political incorrectness to the table, but he brought a whole lot of heart with it too. He also has some newly acquired rap skills that he’s pretty keen to bust out. Above all, it's Khaled’s endearing personality and boyish charm that makes him so engaging and extremely likeable. If he keeps that up, he can get away with pretty much anything.

- Hannah Valmadre, writer

Bryony Kimmings: Sex Idiot

Melbourne Town Hall, 10.45pm, $25

Five minutes into Sex Idiot I had to put my pad and pen away — halfway through scribbling the immortal lines “pre-cum doesn’t count”. Bryony Kimmings has brought Melbourne a show that’s so tender, sly and warm that it’s impossible to look away. It’s a deceptively simple premise: Kimmings gets an STI test, discovers a common sexual disease and gets in contact with her former partners. On the surface it might sound like a familiar formula, but Kimmings stretches the stale traditions of stand-up in every direction at once, making a work that straddles (and grinds) the line between comedy and her background in performance art. For instance, while most comedians like a bit of audience involvement, Kimmings leaves them all for dead in Sex Idiot’s inevitable climax. After inviting audience members to harvest their pubic hairs, she gathers them all up and sticks them to her face as a moustache. See? Impossible to look away.

- Eric Gardiner, writer

Simon Taylor: Funny

Imperial Hotel, 9.15pm, $20

Our first night of the festival was not spent amongst the confetti and champagne of the Allstars Supershow, but in a cosy upstairs room at the Imperial with a pint of beer. It's raining, and we're perched at the top end of Bourke Street with a comedian we don't know much about. Simon Taylor popped up at last year's Fringe, and has been in the US working as a writer for The Tonight Show, but somehow he's not that well-known on the local comedy circuit. Because of this, you may think the name of his show sets expectations too high. It doesn't. Though Funny doesn't have a cohesive plot or theme, Taylor's tightly scripted jokes about Aussie accents and rambling stories of failed romance are somehow tied together by the fact he's just so downright likeable. His observational jokes are as sharp and smart as you expect from a writer on the late-night circuit, and his storytelling is relaxed and relatable — exactly the kind of thing you want from a rainy weeknight spent in the back room of a city pub.

- Meg Watson, Arts & Culture editor

Five Things You Didn't Know About Comedian Paul Foot

You wouldn't think a comedian who bases his act around shire horses, cheese, and the etiquette of eating cake would find a big audience in Australia. But Paul Foot, one of Britain's quirkiest, and most loyally followed comedians, is on his way down to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival for his fourth consecutive year. With his distinctive haircut, frenetic stage presence and impressive collection of neckties, there's definitely a madness to Foot's style of comedy. We had a chat to him ahead of his MICF show, Words, to see if there's a method to it.

- Hannah Valmadre, writer

The Ten Best Things to See at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival 2014

The Melbourne International Comedy Festival is one of those truly democratic moments in our city's cultural calendar. While the Melbourne Festival always seems a little high-end, and Melbourne Music Week is just a bit too hip, MICF is a place for all — from bogans watching Dave Hughes to hipsters hanging out at the Festival Club waiting to catch the latest show you totally haven't even heard about yet.

This year's lineup is a strange one. Big international names have been replaced by a cast of familiar regulars and there's a much larger focus on local talent. This is a welcome move for an industry that doesn't get much love over the rest of the year, but a devastating blow for those of us who are still waiting for the likes of Louis CK to come down under. Regardless, check out our picks of the litter. From the most innovative internationals to the stuff that downright defies classification.

- Meg Watson, Arts & Culture editor