Comedian Live-Tweets a Couple’s Public Break-Up

Comedian Kyle Ayers was enjoying the view from the rooftop of his New York City apartment one day with some neighbours when a couple in the midst of a heated squabble suddenly appeared. So what did Ayers do? Politely look the other way and mind his own business? Of course not.  Like any good social (media) Samaritan, he whipped out his smartphone and started tweeting about the whole ordeal.

His series of live-tweets of the couple's retorts caused quite a buzz in the Twittersphere and was traceable by the fitting tag, #roofbreakup. He started the sequence on Saturday evening, saying "A couple is breaking up on my roof right now. I was just trying to enjoy the view. Now I will live tweet the breakup."

Rapidly reporting the exchange between 'guy' and 'girl' (who we later learnt was named Rachel), Ayers captured their dislikes of friends, questions of moving in together and accusations of infidelity.

Highlights include:

"Say something else about my fucking wardrobe" -guy #roofbreakup

— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013

"I'm not looking for marriage, just what's right below marriage" -girl #roofbreakup

— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013

"Your roommates are fucking assholes" -guy #roofbreakup

— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013

"You think I'm immature? Calling people immature is immature!" -guy #roofbreakup

— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013

"Do you love me?" -girl (OH BOY HERE WE GO, PEOPLE) #roofbreakup

— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013

"My roommates are always like 'wheres your boyfriend?' And I'm like 'hmm' and stuff." -girl #roofbreakup

— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013

This guy is four cigs deep right now. #roofbreakup #teamrachel

— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013

"I don't think we need to talk about this up here with some random guy over there." -guy (uh oh, I'm that guy over here) #roofbreak

— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013

"He's just sitting on his fucking phone he doesn't care (talking about me). Answer my question." -girl (hahahahahahaha) #roofbreakup

— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013

and the royal cherry on top:

"Are we getting pizza or what? I don't mean to change the subject but are we?" -guy #roofbreakup

— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013

The guy, who was furiously chain-smoking the entire time, finally declared "I'm not talking about love on a roof in Brooklyn." Clearly, this is the 21st century's adaptation of Clark Gable's famous retort, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." How debonair.

Read the full #roofbreakup tweets on Storify. Via Huffington Post.