Overview
Look, we'd like to preface this with the simple truth that none of us will ever come close to the elegance and mastery of our queen and saviour Beyonce. We will never leap like a slender gazelle, slide like a water snake or bound across the plains like a kangaroo in heels like the nature goddess herself. Most us will probably never even touch our toes.
But that doesn't mean you can't leap and dance and play in homage to the swirly cosmos of life and energy that is Beyonce — and now you can do it in the company of other Yonce worshippers. That is, in a Beyonce dance (or yoga) class. Somehow we've ended up with more Beyonce-inspired classes than we know what to do with. So to ensure you get the daily dose of the Queen herself, here's four classes to put in your iCal.
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If you want to test out your Beyonce moves but aren’t so keen on doing so out in the open, then a dark nightclub may be just the space you’ve been looking for. The Toff in Town is hosting a dance class led by kween Amrita Hepi. She’ll be teaching the moves to Yonce’s newest slam dunk of a single ‘Formation’ in a shame-free dance zone. Beginners are welcome, no experience needed, hot sauce in bag optional.
There will be seven sessions (starting at 6pm, 7pm and 8pm) over three nights (March 14-16) Tickets cost $20 online or $25 on the door. Get in quick though as they’re selling like hot cakes.
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Yoga is good for us, we all know that. Yogis can live to be 400 and are known to look fresh as a daisy at 5am, and a daily or weekly regiment of yoga can seriously aid your mental health. But really, that pan-pipe music can be so annoying — not to mention that it’s never loud enough to stifle the occasional fart.
But all those troubles are behind you now because you can get limber among your people at Bey Yoga. Every Sunday from 3pm, you can channel your inner Beyonce while enjoying Bey and Bey-inspired music with nary a pan-pipe in sight. The class is designed to work your core strength and flexibility as well as mindfulness — and no doubt all this conditioning will help you nail the moves at your next Bey dance class. If this is your jam, make sure to book ahead as spots are limited and coveted.
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If you’re a devout follower of the Church of Bey, you’ll be pleased to know there’s a twice-weekly service at LuWOW in Fitzroy. The tiki-style bar hosts hour-long Bey Dance classes on Thursday and Friday nights from 6pm. Each class focuses on a different song or dance, so you can pick and choose your Bey best-of, or worship across the board. They cover everything from the Destiny’s Child years all the way up to her recent singles and Super Bowl performances.
Thankfully, for those among us who are more Chris Martin than Beyonce or Bruno Mars, fear not — Bey Party is a judgement-free safe space. There are no mirrors, no lurking cameras, no dance divas just trunk-junk jiggling, just fun times and Yonce-inspired attire (think spandex, glitter and knee-pads). Bey Party is ideal for limbering up before a big night of dancing — and where else can you grab a tiki cocktail straight after a good workout?
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Beylesque. Beyonce burlesque. Just let that sink in for a second. All good? Now that the blood has settled back in your head we’ll give you the details. As if Yonce isn’t raw and sexual enough, this burlesque-themed six-week course is set to the Fifty Shades of Grey remix of ‘Crazy In Love’, a slow and sensual remix of a Bey classic. The Beylesque course will run in Brunswick from February 25 to March 31, and is designed for intermediate dancers. And of course, sexy heels are encouraged to help the moves pop — this is a burlesque class after all.
There is also a distinct possibility this combination will devolve into sex riots, but that’s the risk we take. If this seems a bit intense for you, Bey Dance also run courses for beginners – check out their upcoming calendar for a course to suit your skill level and the ferocity of your swag.