Where to Eat Burgers in Melbourne when Mondayitis Hits Hard
Melbourne’s best and most cheerful restaurants for a burg and a brew when you need it most.
Where to Eat Burgers in Melbourne when Mondayitis Hits Hard
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Melbourne’s best and most cheerful restaurants for a burg and a brew when you need it most.
It's a well-known fact that Mondays were invented in the '50s by Wall Street fat cats to keep the idealistic youth down in the dumps. The sense of existential dread and terror that pervades the soul on Sunday afternoon has only one known cure: a big, fat, greasy, heart-stopping burger, consumed with a cold beverage, in the company of friends.
Luckily for Melbourne sufferers, there are havens all across the city serving up the antidote in bulk. We may be die-hard foodies but we also love a mean burger. And regardless of whether your dream burger is a double-meat-and-cheese, schnitzel or mushroom situation, the venue has to be just right too, welcoming you into its bosom with cheerful music, good deals, a relaxed atmosphere, hearty portions and a spot where you can easily tap that American Express of yours. Otherwise all the hard work done by the burger will be wasted.
Fortunately, we've lived through many Mondays and know such spots. Together with our mates Amex, we've eaten our weight in burgers and discovered Melbourne's best and most cheerful restaurants for a burg and a brew when Mondayitis hits you hard.
Got yourself in another dining situation and need some guidance? Whatever it is, we know a place. Visit The Shortlist and we'll sort you out.
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Melbourne, we know you’ve got a voracious appetite for burgers, so when those Monday Blues kick in, you’ll luckily be able to find plenty of joints around to satiate your burg cravings and give yourself an extra kick of comfort. At the new Mr Burger concept store in Bentleigh, you can beat that Mondayitis with the classic burgers you love, as well as some new additions like an Oreo shake, handmade onion rings and a take on the Maccas McFeast called The Deluxe.
As an added Monday bonus, the Bentleigh store also offers a selection of beers on tap, plus with the 100 Orders app you can order straight from your phone so you don’t have to talk to anyone (if you’re feeling that grumpy).
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Betty’s Burgers on Elizabeth Street in the CBD is an import from Queensland, where the first BB was opened several years ago to local acclaim. Since then, they’ve opened in Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane and you can see why. The menu is simple but diverse, including their classic, crispy chicken, pork belly and mushroom signature burgers as well as their insane Shake Shack-esque frozen custard concoctions. These are called ‘concretes’, and you can choose to get things like peanut brittle, pecan pudding, doughnuts and lemon cheesecake mixed through them.
Betty’s is ideal for a quick in-and-out, after-work burger experience that won’t leave you hungry.
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The fried chicken burger, once considered a controversial burger filling, is enjoying a renaissance and why shouldn’t it? Fried chicken is great, and nowhere does it better than Belles Hot Chicken. As well as burgers, there’s American beer, there’s wine, there’s whiskey, there’s a record player blaring in the background and staff are sometimes inclined to dance around the restaurant, so if this doesn’t cure your Monday-related grumpies, literally nothing will.
Choose your spice level (from Southern to really f**kin hot) and go to town. They come with a side, and choose wisely – they’re all excellent and a necessary counterpoint to the grease and spice. If you’re there with pals, grab a variety of sides and share the love.
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The outer suburbs hold a lot of little burger gems, it would seem. Kustom Burgers is a cool, vintage restaurant in Thornbury with a fit-out made of old car parts, retro lollies on the counter (hello, Milkos!), and the ‘50 swing tunes filling the air. Be transported back to a nostalgic childhood you never had, and a time before Mondays plagued you. We strongly believe there’s no Monday that a spider couldn’t fix.
As for burgers, they range from the standard Kustom Burger with a beef patty, bacon, American cheese, pickles, onion, lettuce, tomato sauce and mustard to the Impala Southern fried chicken burger with fried buttermilk chicken, cheese, jalapenos, house-made chipotle mayo and slaw, with a few stops in between. There’s also a Southern-fried Portobello mushroom burger for vegetarians and for the spicy among you, the Hot Rod Burger will bring the toughest chilli fiend to their knees — and keep them there for a good hour or two.
Image: Leah Hulst.
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If you want an excuse for an early knock off, this is it. Chew Burger is out in Preston, so jump ship and make your way leisurely up to the 3072 and prepare to be rejuvenated.
The Chew mimics the multitude of classic burgers that have come before it: a standard brioche bun, melt-in-your-mouth wagyu beef, cheddar, fresh cos lettuce, tomato, pickles and a combination of mustard and aioli. But it’s not like those other burgers; its simple elegance and quality ingredients make it a standout in Melbourne. The rest of the menu is broad and also reasonably priced, with vego and vegan options, and plenty of chicken burgers too.
Image: Leah Hulst.
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Don’t even worry about that awkward client meeting or the sad pigeon you saw on your lunch break that put you off your sandwich. Monday is about to be ushered away by one of Melbourne’s best (and we mean best) burgers. The Le Bon Ton cheeseburger is a 150 gram patty of char-grilled beef, served with crispy bacon, cheese, onion, lettuce, tomato, pickles, aioli and spicy ketchup. It’ll ruin you for other burgers.
The buffalo chicken sandwich, though technically not a burger, is also very delicious and served with blue cheese aioli, cayenne hot sauce, Spanish onion and lettuce. And if Le Bon Ton has attracted a crowd, you can get the Le Bon Ton cheeseburger at the Longhorn Saloon in Carlton (run by the same folk, serving the same burger).
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Yellow Bird in Windsor boasts a broad menu of stacked burgers, and a relaxed, friendly atmosphere that make even the worst Mondays fall away once you step foot inside. The interior has a casual, pub-like vibe, but like most places their grub is gourmet.
If you had a really bad Monday, go for the Whole Lotta burger which comes with literally everything and triple cheese. Your friends might have to carry you out in a body bag, but you’ll have died doing what you love. And if you’d like to treat yourself to a tipple, happy hour from 4-6pm every day serves up $6 Sailor Jerrys, $15 jugs and $6 house wines.
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The Local Burger Co. are locals in a few neighbourhoods around Melbourne, including Carlton, Cranbourne and Croydon. The reason they keep moving into new ones is because they serve damn good burgers and everybody wants a piece. The homely fit-out at all their venues is a welcome sight after a big Monday.
Unlike most places, they’re here for one thing: burgers. While meat-lovers can’t go past the nostalgic old-school cheese, we highly recommend the mushroom burger, served with a slow-roasted mushroom, grilled haloumi, eggplants, tomato relish, lettuce and mayo. The haloumi is thick, juicy and bang on, and will leave you thirsty all week (a good sign, surely). The pulled pork with lettuce, tomato, sour cream, and pickled jalapenos is also a banger: messy and totally worth it.
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