There are haunted houses, and then there's the Winchester Mystery House. Forget the occasional swinging door and creaky floorboard – in this sprawling abode, things go bump both day and night. That's the story, anyway, one spooky enough to establish the San Jose residence as a popular tourist attraction for almost a century. The seven-storey building dates back to 1884, contains 161 rooms and was under construction for nearly 40 years. It's also said to be full of ghostly inhabitants. No wonder Hollywood came knocking. Indeed, in another life, the history of the mansion could've come with an M. Night Shyamalan-style twist, or become one of Guillermo del Toro's gothic playgrounds, with both filmmakers once interested in turning it into a movie. Instead, the spirits of their unrealised projects join the many things haunting Winchester, not the least of which is squandered potential. Try as they might, Australian directors Peter and Michael Spierig (Daybreakers, Jigsaw) just can't capitalise on their real-world premise – and that's despite their convincing command of genre fundamentals and an against-type Helen Mirren as their star. The beloved British actress plays the widowed Sarah Winchester, heir by marriage to the Winchester firearms-manufacturing firm. Mourning the loss of her husband and infant daughter, Sarah has dedicated much of her life to building her enormous home — all while basing its unconventional, ever-changing design on otherworldly instructions. That doesn't please the company's board, who enlist psychiatrist Dr. Eric Price (Jason Clarke) to attest to her diminished capacity. Addicted to laudanum, the good doctor is haunted by demons of his own, and soon discovers there's more than a well-paying job waiting for him at Winchester manor. If prowling around an eerie house was all it took to make an effective horror flick, Winchester would be primed for success. Once again building upon their growing genre resume, the Spierigs prove up to the task both visually and tonally, conjuring up an unnerving mood and ensuring the maze-like setting is as creepy as it should be. They're a little too fond of jump-scares, but at least they make enough of them count. Sadly, the same can't be said for the movie's obvious plotting and terrible dialogue, with the twin writer-directors — along with co-scribe Tom Vaughan (Unstoppable) – making every expected choice and saddling their characters with some truly awful lines. That said, enlisting Mirren and Clarke, along with Sarah Snook (Predestination) and Eamon Farren (Twin Peaks: The Return) does help lift the film's fortunes somewhat. Specifically, there's plenty of fun to be had watching Mirren jump into another unexpected genre after she popped up in The Fate of the Furious just last year. The veteran actress turns in a committed performance filled with quiet resolve — all while decked out in gorgeously gothic outfits. She can't make an average movie great or even good, but at least she helps keep it from being totally forgettable. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfzDq6-vCZc
The program for 2018's Melbourne Food And Wine Festival has officially arrived. And even though it's more than three months until it all kicks off on March 16, you're going to need most of that time to plan your attack, because this is one chock-a-block lineup. In a fun new addition, MFWF 2018 will for the first time incorporate its own mini hotel experience, as festival hub the House of Food and Wine takes over the Hotel Lindrum. Punters wanting to really dig in deep can now opt for an overnight stay right in the MFWF epicentre, enjoying contemporary breakfast, mini-bar and room service menus designed by acclaimed chefs Jo Barrett and Matt Stone. As with its predecessors, next year's hub will also feature a bar offering curated by the city's top mixologists and sommeliers, and will play host to a series of dinners and one-off events. Highlights here include a March 25 laneway lunch dedicated to dumplings and wine, and a speed dating-style wine tasting called Vino Rapido, on March 21. The Bank Of Melbourne World's Longest Lunch returns for its annual group feasting session – though this time it'll grace the banks of the Maribyrnong River – as chefs Jerry Mai (Annam), Adam D'Sylva (Coda, Tonka) and Kay-Lene Tan (Coda, Tonka) pool their talents to deliver a multi-cultural, modern Australian lunch to 1,700 diners. There'll also be food for the mind, as the MFWF Theatre of Ideas talks series explores ideas about sustainability and community. Other festival fun might find you noshing on a Brutally Early Breakfast at Collingwood's soon-to-launch Congress; enjoying a BBQ block party starring eats from both Fancy Hanks and Smith & Daughters; embarking on a boozy trip through time with a specially curated cocktail journey at Dinner By Heston; and partying hard at Bouvier Bar's dedicated sausage festival.
A long, hot, Melbourne summer deserves a proper Melbourne send-off, and how better to do that, than with a series of free music events? To squeeze a little extra goodness out of the sunny season, the folks at Rosé Rosé are set to host a three-week boutique music series called Wine Not?, complete with an all-Aussie lineup of wines, beers, cocktails and top DJ's. Held in conjunction with Arts Centre Melbourne's new exhibition, The Australian Music Vault, the event will take over the centre's ground floor al fresco space, The Barre, running Friday and Saturday nights, from March 9. WAT Artists has pulled together a banging musical lineup for the occasion, with the likes of Harvey Sutherland, Oscar Key Sung, Andras, Fantastic Man and Nite Fleit promising to have punters dancing their way through March. Alongside the tunes, expect a carefully curated, locally-focused bar offering, with cocktails from Melbourne Martini, brews from Grand Ridge and Rosé Rosé's own lightly sparkling rosé cans. There'll also be a rose-themed light show, a lounge area for chilling out under the stars, and easy access to The Australian Music Vault, for when those DJ tunes inspire you to dig a little deeper into the Aussie music story. Wine Not? will run from 5–11pm on March 9, 10, 16, 17, 23 and 24. Find it at The Barre, Arts Centre Melbourne. For more information, head to the website.
If you've got a penchant for pink wine, then you'd best clear your calendar, because Brunswick's cellar door-style bar Biff Tannin's is throwing a week-long rosé festival. Starting from noon this Sunday, March 4, the bar's self-serve wine machines (yes, self-serve) will be taken over entirely by rosé, offering a huge 32 varieties by the glass. You'll swap your credit/debit card for a Biff Tannin's wine card, then use this to purchase drops straight from the bottle taps. The diverse lineup has been sourced from all over the globe, with a particular focus on rosé from France and Australia. Find yourself sipping delights like the fresh and lively Saint Honorat rosé, the Yarra Valley's Up The Mountain, and loads of others in between. Plenty of the producers will be dropping in for meet-and-greets throughout the week and there'll be a swag of great pizza and cheese board deals running each night.
If you're a fan of tasteful tunes and exuberant summer vibes that don't bruise the budget, the annual St Kilda Festival should be at the top of your summer bucket list. The nation's largest free music festival returns to St Kilda's foreshore for its 38th year, bringing seven stages of live music and a tonne of food stalls and interactive workshops. On the music front, pop-rock band The Jezabels, soul singer Dan Sultan, Melbourne locals Architecture in Helsinki (DJ Set) and electro duo Electric Fields are just some of the 60-plus artists that will be performing throughout the day. They'll jam on one of nine stages scattered along the beachfront — stretching from Catani Gardens to the south end of Acland Street. As well as bangin' tunes, the air will be filled with the scent of delicious eats emanating from more than 100 food vendors. There'll be everything from curry to burgers, ribs and sushi — providing plenty of sustenance for all that dancing. You'll also need energy if you plan on attending one of the festival's free workshops, which include bubble soccer, yoga hip hop and dance classes (and a less strenuous selfie station, if that's your thing). For more information on activities and to see the full lineup, visit their website. Images: Nathan Doran
It might not have been planned, but Bluebonnet Barbecue is definitely one of Melbourne's most well-travelled restaurants. After a fire forced the beloved barbecue joint out of its original Collingwood home after just two years of operation, it enjoyed a temporary residency at The Curtin, before eventually settling into new digs within the former North Fitzroy Star in 2016. And now, with redevelopment in the works for the pub, Chris Terlikar's famed eatery is on the move again — though this time it's to a permanent abode, having signed a 20-year lease on a space in Brunswick East. But Bluebonnet's not going anywhere without a proper farewell, which of course involves plenty of meaty treats for all. From March 5–23, it's reinstating its legendary All You Can Meat bottomless barbecue feeds. Book a table for dinner on any of those days (or lunch on weekends) and $55 will get you a feast fit for a carnivore king. The house cooling festivities will then wrap up with one final party on Saturday, March 24. We'll give you more info about that one as it drops.
Classic Australian films surrounded by Australia's classic bushland? If you're after more than just the usual trip to the movies, you can't get much better than this. It's the work of Campout Cinema, the latest event coming to Bush Hideouts , a super scenic 500-acre spot by the banks of the Goulburn River, a breezy 80 minutes away from the hustle and bustle of Melbourne. Taking place from 6pm on Saturday, December 1, this one-off movie night will show a double of Wake in Fright and Long Weekend. If you don't know what you're in for, the pair of local 70s flicks are all about heading out into the Aussie outback and getting more than you bargained for. Yes, it's a particularly fitting program — but, thankfully, all of the unnerving thrills will be confined to the big screen. Unless you're easily frightened. For those keen to soak up a combo of nature and cinema on the first night of summer, there'll also be food trucks, a bar and — naturally — plenty of popcorn. $45 (plus booking fee) gets you entry to the films, access to the after party and a spot to camp for the night. If you're happy to pop along just for the movies, that'll set you back $20.
Johnston Street's neon-drenched Shu is no stranger to innovation, having earned a solid reputation for its envelope-pushing take on modern Sichuan fare. But now you can prepare those tastebuds for some of its most creative grub yet, which is set to be delivered as part of the restaurant's new series of weekly experimental vegan dinners. From 6pm each Tuesday, the kitchen's offering a changing selection of innovative new dishes, showcasing seasonal produce and fun techniques that the kitchen's been playing around with. And while you might expect such crafty eats to come with a hefty price tag, Shu's Tuesday night feasts clock in at just $25 for five dishes — almost cheap enough to rival a midweek pub parma — yet way, way more exciting. Recent creations have included the likes of grilled okra with burnt chilli salsa and puffed rice, tempeh crackers topped with apple, avocado and green chilli mayo, and slow-cooked Asian mushrooms teamed with black sticky rice and sweet soy.
If you're the kind of market-goer who beelines immediately for the ceramics stall at your local makers market — and dreams of Patrick Swayze's ghost every time your hands hit the potter's wheel — then do we have just the ticket for you. After launching in 2017, Melbourne's ceramics-only market is back, holding a two-day event in Collingwood this summer. Taking place over the weekend of Saturday, November 10 (10am-6pm) and 11 (10am-4pm), Melbourne Ceramics Market, or MCM, costs a gold coin to enter, and showcases handcrafted creations from over 45 different ceramicists. And, if you're big into the clay world, you may have already heard of the two founders, who are ceramic artists themselves. Daisy Cooper of Daisy Cooper Ceramics and Tina Thorburn of Clay by Tina are running the market to create a retail space for other artists to sell their pieces directly to the public. You'll also find coffee trucks and baked goods to help fuel your ceramics-buying rampage.
Melbourne fashion lovers sticking to a budget, rejoice — the biannual Magic Designer Sale is back for its second sale of 2018. For one weekend a massive amount of end-of-season stock and samples will be available from local designers such as Witu, Verner, Kuwaii, Handsom, Kloke, Seb Brown and Dress Up. With reductions running across the four days, your purchases are guaranteed to be investments. So cancel your weekend plans, empty your piggy bank and race over to Johnson Street. We suggest getting there early for the good stuff. The sale will run from 5.30–8.30 on Thursday, 9am–6pm on Friday, 10am–6pm on Saturday, and 11am–4pm on Sunday.
He's soft and cuddly, has a hankering for honey and hibernating, and believes that doing nothing leads to the very best something. With wisdom like that, he could be a wellness guru — but instead, Winnie-the-Pooh is a walking, talking teddy bear. There are many reasons to love the best-known inhabitant of the Hundred Acre Wood. Taking inspiration from a stuffed toy cherished by his son Christopher Robin, author A.A. Milne crafted the cute creature with ample affection, making him feel like the best friend that every kid always wanted. With dashings of black ink on white paper, illustrator E. H. Shepard also brought the bear to life with grace and care in drawings that felt like they could wander off the paper. Thanks to an array of short films, features and television shows over the past six decades, Pooh did mosey beyond those pages. That said, he has never taken a stroll in quite the fashion seen in Christopher Robin. With director Marc Forster (World War Z) mixing live-action and CGI, Pooh is an adorable ball of fluff that couldn't look more realistic. He's covered with tufts of naturalistic fur that viewers will instantly want to run their fingers through and, thanks to special effects that give him a well-worn appearance, it looks like plenty of people already have. Courtesy of a script by Alex Ross Perry (Golden Exits), Tom McCarthy (Spotlight) and Allison Schroeder (Hidden Figures), Pooh is also actually dispensing wellness advice to a now-adult Christopher Robin (Ewan McGregor, charming even when he's haunted by stress). Indeed, if there's one thing that Christopher Robin takes seriously, it's the idea of not taking life too seriously. In a movie with the sweetness of Pooh's preferred food — but a dose of melancholy too — the childhood character pops into Christopher Robin's life when he least expects it. (Not that anyone expects a living teddy bear to find them in a London garden, follow them home and start putting their sticky paws on everything.) It has been years since Christopher farewelled Pooh, with boarding school, the Second World War, and now work and his family all monopolising his attention instead. But trying to balance his personal and professional lives, or failing to, has left Christopher in a spot of bother. While his wife Evelyn (Hayley Atwell) and daughter Madeline (Bronte Carmichael) head out to the country, he's stuck at home alone working for a luggage company. Then Pooh shows up, searching for the missing Tigger, Piglet, Eeyore, Kanga, Roo, Owl and Rabbit, and making Christopher realise exactly what he's missing. Much of Christopher Robin follows its two central characters as they roam around the Hundred Acre Wood. It's a hangout movie — viewers not only hang out with characters they love, but watch them hang out as well. While the drama about meeting work deadlines feels somewhat flimsy as a result, just soaking in the film's scenic surroundings and loveable figures offers enough to enjoy. Forster certainly thinks so, with the movie never as buoyant as when it's focusing firmly on Christopher Robin, Pooh and their green sanctuary. Intricate production design assists, ensuring that every swaying tree and meadow of grass is as eye-catching as a certain bear of very little brain. As viewers rove their eyes over Christopher Robin's splendid sights, they're doing just what the film espouses: slowing down, enjoying the moment, and switching off from the hustle and bustle. Still, as you're clearing space in your head thanks to this nice little movie — and it's truly the epitome of nice, soothing, cosy and comfortable — you might notice a few familiar elements. Forster has dallied with a beloved childhood story before in Finding Neverland, while the idea of a fictional animal character coming to life smacks of Paddington and its sequel, and Hook told overworked men to reconsider their priorities more than two decades ago. You may also recall 2017's forgettable Goodbye Christopher Robin, but thankfully Christopher Robin doesn't underestimate its audience or smother anyone in treacly sentiment. In imagining a new adventure for Pooh and his human pal rather than revisiting their beginnings, the film simply wants viewers to delight in the big-hearted pleasures of its gorgeous world. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PakpWVOK37Y
Run to the Melbourne Fringe Hub for this late-night celebration of the music of Whitney Houston. Taking over Arts House in North Melbourne on Friday, September 21 in the middle of the festival, Queen of the Night will see a bevy of local performers — including Mz Rizk, Mama Alto, Shamita Siva, Jennifer Vuletic and the cast of Lou Wall's Drag Race — pay tribute to the legendary singer with unique takes on her iconic music. Best of all, it's free. Have a boogie, feel the heat, and make the most of this one moment in time. The party doesn't kick off until 10pm, so you can even sneak in a Fringe show beforehand.
A block party ain't a block party without giraffes. Or orang-utans. Or elephants. With that in mind, Melbourne Zoo is hosting a series of animal-fuelled block parties throughout November. Happening for three Saturday nights in November, the shindigs are a collaboration with ACMI and independent radio station 3RRR. Expect to be completely immersed in sound and light, with ACMI hosting spectacular big screen visuals and Animals Dancing DJs getting your feet moving. In between making shapes, you'll be conquering your mates at giant Jenga, Twister and Mario Kart on Nintendo 64 — or taking a round or two on a carousel. Should all the action have you working up an appetite, take your pick of street eats from a herd of food trucks, and get a drink at the bar. Just 300 tickets at just 20 bucks a pop are on sale for each event. And all proceeds will go towards Melbourne Zoo's efforts to save 21 threatened species from extinction. It should get you warmed up for the Zoo Twilights, which kick off on January 25.
A cinema showcase that not only boasts a stacked program, but also a stirring message, the annual Environmental Film Festival is all about contemplating humanity's place in the world. From pondering mankind's impact on our natural surroundings to exploring the real cost of technological advancement, it's a socially conscious fest that designed to spark questions. Expect plenty when it hits the Australian Centre for the Moving Image and Palace Westgarth across its nine-day run. Screening from Thursday, October 11 to Friday, October 19, EFF's 2018 lineup includes everything from near post-apocalyptic visions of electronic waste courtesy of documentary Welcome to Sodom, to Birds of Prey's beautiful yet heartbreaking account of the Philippine Eagle, of which less than 700 remain today. Firmly focused on docos, many films screen with Q&A sessions, so you can get to the heart of matters such as the chemical repercussions of everyday items, the price paid for the world's reliance upon oil and the ivory trade. For those keen for a glimpse of the planet you won't see elsewhere, Stella Polaris Ulloriarsuaq captures the current state of Greenland's glaciers and the Kalaallit people who've lived on the ice for millennia. Or, take a journey into The Ancient Woods — a meditative, observational highlight that burrows into an old growth forest in Lithuania and simply watches nature take its course, completely without dialogue, commentary or narration.
Do you suffer from garden envy? Or do you wander around in a garden daze? The two aren't mutually exclusive. Yes, the first refers to wishing that your patch of greenery was as nice as someone else's — and the second is all about spending too much time starting at gorgeous plants, trees, flowers and landscaping when you're casually walking through your neighbourhood. Sure, we might've just coined both of these terms, but we're describing experiences that we've all had. And if you like to indulge your love of ogling other people's nice gardens, then you'll want to embark on one of the Secret Gardens of the Dandenong Ranges spring tours between Wednesday, October 17 and Saturday, October 27. Running Wednesday to Saturday each week — so for eight days in total — each tour will take you through private, lush gardens in the Dandenong Ranges. Yes, you'll be getting an up-close glimpse at spaces that you wouldn't normally be able to set foot in. Each tour starts and ends at the Karwarra Australian Plant Garden, but the daily itineraries are different. You will need a whole day for each trip, and you'll also need between $190–240 per person. But, the limited wanders only take 50 people per days, mostly include lunch, and also feature glass of wine and hors d'oeuvres at the end of the day. Image: Secret Gardens of the Dandenong Ranges.
On Sunday, October 28, Prahran Market will host its fifth annual Say Cheese Festival. For the uninitiated (or those who haven't previously attended and devoured all the dairy they can), it's essentially an entire day of eating cheese — and buying even more to eat later. From 10am–4pm, there'll be free cheese tastings, cheesy dish demonstrations and stalls from cheese providores. Or, you can meet cheesemakers, wander along a market trail or get cosy at a fondue bar. If you're not too full from all of that, traders will also be offering food to take home or eat there, including Maker & Monger and Wilson & Market. Yes, there will be many, many cheese plates. Plus, chefs will also take over the kitchen throughout the day to demonstrate cooking techniques — and take part in Melbourne's first Grilled Cheese Invitational to determine who cooks up the best combo of grilled cheese on bread. If you'd like to expand your palate, Say Cheese is hosting guided cheese pairings as well, so you'll be downing the gouda stuff with tea, saké, beer or Prosecco in no time.
So far in 2018, Joaquin Phoenix has played a down-to-earth Jesus in Mary Magdalene and a hammer-wielding hitman in You Were Never Really Here. At present, the always-fascinating actor is filming his first comic book movie, stepping into the shoes of the Joker. Although it mightn't initially seem like it, his role in Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot falls somewhere in the middle of all three. Here, he plays a man who's reaching out to the masses in a chaotic, often confrontational, sometimes self-sabotaging manner, while realising the importance of connecting more intimately. A biopic of Portland cartoonist John Callahan, the movie's title comes not only from the artist's memoir, but from one of his sketched pieces: a black-and-white drawing depicting three cowboys on horseback, all standing next to an empty wheelchair. As the caption notes, it swiftly dawns on the crusading posse that the chair's occupant can't have strayed very far. Typically self-deprecating, the picture speaks volumes about Callahan and his ability to see humour in even the most unlikely and difficult of situations. As Gus Van Sant's unconventional film shows, Callahan is making light of his own reality, both as a quadriplegic tragically paralysed at the age of 21 after a drunken car accident, and as a cartoonist who frequently courted controversy with his irreverent work. Portrayed as outwardly carefree but inwardly tormented by the reliably stellar Phoenix, Callahan takes quite the journey in Van Sant's movie. As the film's moniker makes plain, he's often venturing emotionally rather than physically — stuck in a hospital bed, and later in the wheelchair that he hates. Before his accident at the hands of an inebriated pal (Jack Black), Callahan liked a drink more than anything else in the world, with alcohol his only real motivation to get out of bed each day. Afterwards, he struggles to accept his injury and confront his addiction, seeking help from his sponsor (a bearded Jonah Hill, who is similarly excellent) and his physical therapist (Rooney Mara). He also finds solace in cartooning, turning his new hobby into a nearly three-decade career with his local newspaper. Callahan passed away in 2010, and if the above description of his life sounds eventful but straightforward, seeing it onscreen dispels that notion. Attempting to capture its protagonist not just in story but also in style, Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot also takes quite the journey. Reteaming with Phoenix 23 years after the pair collaborated on To Die For, Van Sant jumps back and forth between different aspects of Callahan's experiences. The filmmaker unravels wisdom, conflict and harsh truths in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, which give the film a loose structure, and he doesn't necessarily focus on the details that audiences might expect. The result is a sincere yet never sentimental movie that endeavours to provide a sense of its subject — including his careening, freewheeling ways — rather than adhere to the standard biographical format. That said, for all of its apparent desire to capture Callahan's essence, Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot proves intriguing but not always completely compelling. The film's restlessness clearly reflects the internal state of its protagonist, as it's designed to, yet it also comes across as somewhat awkward and superficial. Van Sant seems like he desperately wants to show rather than tell, but even with his almost erratic approach to conveying Callahan's tale, it never feels as though he's delving as deeply as he could be. And while the veteran writer-director assembles an impressive cast that also includes Carrie Brownstein, Udo Kier, Sonic Youth's Kim Gordon and singer Beth Ditto, everyone except Phoenix and Hill is sorely wasted — and not in the fashion that Callahan would've once preferred. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5BeQ2hkVzo
Vegans of the north, rejoice. The age of meat is waning and it's nearly your time to inherit the earth. To build your strength, head down to Welcome to Thornbury for the Vegan Vegout, an all-vegan food truck event that rolls into High Street on the first Wednesday of every month. For this month's event, you can expect a lineup of vegetarian and vegan snacks from Pierogi Pierogi, Woking Amazing, Bomba Wood Fired Pizza and YAY Foods, who specialise in vegan pies, pastries and marinated feta. It all kicks off from 5pm and dogs are welcome.
Shortstop is celebrating its birthday in the best possible way: by giving away a boatload of free doughnuts. Saturday, September 8 marks four tasty years since the coffee and doughnut specialists started slinging rings of dough and cups of joe from its Sutherland Street store. And to mark the anniversary, the bakers will whip up a special limited-edition birthday cake doughnut (topped with sprinkles, naturally), which they'll be giving away free with every transaction. There will only be 1000 available, though, so best get there in the morning — because once they're gone, you won't see them again until birthday number five.
The 21st annual Queenscliff Music Festival is swiftly approaching — and, boy, is there a lot to celebrate. As always, the lineup offers an exquisite mix of talent, with The Temper Trap, Xavier Rudd, Nai Palm, Bernard Fanning, Yothu Yindi, Bob Evans, Mia Dyson and The Beautiful Girls on the bill. In total, 66 acts and events are slated across the three days of November 24 to 26, including everything from comedy and outrageous ukulele-playing to yoga and anniversary shows. Unsurprisingly, tickets are moving quick — and while Saturday day passes have already been snapped up, you can either get a pass for the whole weekend or just for a Friday or Sunday if there's something special you can't possibly pass up. This a prime music event for those who like to kick back and soak up the friendly atmosphere of a well-organised festival just before the madness of summer hits. If this sounds like something you can get down with, hit up QMF.
Leave it to a stroll through Simon Johnson in Toorak to transform a midweek meal into a gourmet feast. Simon Johnson started his providore chain in Sydney in 1992, and with the namesake brand now boasting five retail stores across Australia, the company's Melbourne location is no less impressive than the others. The Toorak location is a modern space chock-full of products held in easily navigable floor-to-ceiling shelves holding bottles, jars and kitchenware. Selling products from its sister companies — Calendar Cheese, Black Pearl Epicure and Australia on a Plate — Simon Johnson has access to some of the finest gourmet products in the market. Di Martino in Dolce and Gabbana designed packaging, Valrhona french chocolates and British-made Montgomery's clothbound cheddar are just a few products provided in the popular hampers sold in-store and online. Like any notable providore, the staff are knowledgeable and eager to help you find just the right ingredients to elevate any recipe. If you're searching for a dinner party winner or special occasion treat, you'll be able to find it here.
If you're one of those unfortunate souls that needs a good pair of glasses to avoid crashing into things all day, Seddon's Two Faces can be trusted to give you the best possible service. With much of the staff behind the business having a couple of decades of experience helping customers choose a distinctive pair of glasses, you can be sure you'll land a pair of frames that'll show your best features off to the world. Plus, most of the boutique's frames are handcrafted and released in limited numbers, so you can be confident in your unique new look. Featuring premium quality local and international designers like Oliver Peoples, Booth & Bruce and Roger Henley, Two Faces will have you feeling comfortable in your specs. Images: Parker Blain.
Take a trip back in time at this impossibly cute miner's cottage, built in the 1860s. When you're not soaking in your cedar hot tub filled with steaming hot rainwater or snuggling up in front of the fire, you can explore the fragrant surrounds or watch an old black-and-white film in the openair theatre room. Outside of the cottage, you'll discover that you're actually at a working biodynamic micro-farm. Dozens of heritage roses are grown here with as little interference as possible. They're powered instead by natural elements: sunshine, water, bees and compost. And during your stay, if you're keen to cook up a storm, you can help yourself to whatever produce you find. The property also hosts events throughout the year, including horticultural workshops and days when guests can pick their own roses.
Chunky Monkey, Clusterfluff, New York Super Fudge Chunk. These are just some of the more popular flavours of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream — a leading cause of happiness around the world since 1978. While doctors in the future will no doubt tell us otherwise, we can’t think of many things better than gorging on a giant tub of sweet, sweet ice-cream on a warm summer day, except for maybe getting some friends together and going to the movies. Well, it turns out Ben & Jerry’s can help us there as well. Starting on November 30 and running until late December, the 10th Ben & Jerry’s Openair Cinema, erected right by St Kilda Beach, will combine recent releases like Interstellar, Whiplash and The Drop with some more nostalgic picks, including Labyrinth, The Breakfast Club and a sing-along screening of Grease. We're even presenting our very own session of Fury on Sunday, December 6. Having started out on top of the St Kilda Sea Baths, Openair Cinema has now moved down to the lawns by the water, allowing plenty more space for bean loungers, picnics and general unwindulaxing. Festivities start daily at 6.30pm, with live music squeezed in before the film (plus plenty of time to suss out the bar and stock up on snacks). Best of all are the Sunday ‘Sundae’ Sessions, which kick off at 5pm with additional music, games on the lawn and unlimited free Ben & Jerry’s for all. For session times and more information, check out the event website.
There's constantly something new popping up in Melbourne. Whether it's a new gallery space or a fresh paste-up in the laneway on your way to work — it can be tough to keep up. But this weekend, online arts hub Redbubble have co-ordinated an event to let you in behind the scenes. On November 29-30, the city will be full of live art, floating galleries and "experiential hot spots". You're finally being let backstage on the magic. The inaugural ART + MEL will see Federation Square turned into a giant bedroom — yeah, you read that right — featuring the work of over 100 local artists (and bonus free coffee from Code Black). Street artists Kaitlin Beckett and Matthew Dunn will be splashing some paint around Rutledge Lane for your entertainment. There'll also be a big artsy party at 1000 £ Bend from 6pm-1am on the Sunday night. Better yet, it's all totally free. For more information including artist profiles and event times, check out the ART + MEL website.
Ahead of Abbott and Putin's showdown at the G20 summit in Brisbane, get your fix of Russian entertainment at the 2014 Russian Resurrection Film Festival. Although not exactly the most popular of global citizens right now, Russia is still a superpower when it comes to the world of movie-making, as the lineup at this year's festival can attest. The program begins with Vasilia, a sweeping historical drama set against the backdrop of the Napoleonic invasion circa early 1800s. In a similarly epic vein comes the WWII movie Stalingrad, about the bloody urban battle between Germany and Russia that marked a major turning point in the war. Dialogue-free arthouse film Test depicts the country's first successful atom bomb detonation, and was a big winner at the Sochi Open Film Festival earlier in the year. Perhaps a little more accessible, not to mention family friendly, is the animated kids film Space Dogs 2. Of course, it's entirely possible that without having seen the original Space Dogs you won't be able to make heads nor tails of the story... although somehow, we suspect you'll be okay.
Melbourne native Fractures has been pretty busy in the last few months. He debuted at Splendour in the Grass, his October tour schedule was totally sold out, he just announced he's heading overseas next year, and now he's spending this month holed up in Sydney and Melbourne for two very intimate evenings. As part of his Hallowed Ground tour, Fractures will be hitting up the Shadow Electric bandroom in the conspicuous nunnery turned arts space that is the Abbotsford Convent and the Paddington Uniting Church in Sydney. Up until only a few years ago this space was reserved strictly for church and community related events. Now it's a hot spot for those looking to bliss out to ambient electronic pop. Perfect if you're looking to worship at a new kind of altar.
The release of a shiny new album, Strange But Nice, was a good time as any for Sydney trio Step-Panther to take their show back on the road. Collaborating with long-time buds, Bearhug, the lads will be embarking on an East Coast album launch for the so-called New Arrivals tour. For those of you playing at home, Step-Panther are a homegrown garage-pop-rock outfit, with a sound described as 'slacker-pop'. Indeed, Step-Panther's lo-fi sound makes the perfect soundtrack for a lazy afternoon at a mate's house, preferably paired with an inflatable pool filled with ice and tinnies. Bearhug have a dreamier sound, sporting the unavoidably-dubbed 'indie' vibe without being douchey. Also hailing from Sydney, the band are also celebrating an album released — their recently-dropped second album, So Gone. Guitar-heavy with infectious melodies — these guys are onto something good. Also supported by Reptiles. https://youtube.com/watch?v=2y4goxKYj7M
Without a doubt the highlight of the whole Melbourne Music Week program, the Live Music Safari brings the entire city to life. Fourteen of Melbourne's best venues including Boney, Section 8, The Toff and The Hi-Fi are hosting some of the city's most exciting bands and they're doing so for the ever-so-tasty price of free. Running for nearly 12 hours of sonic bliss, the Safari wants you to pop in and out of shows from 4pm-5am. Ideal route: chill out in Ferdydurke as City Calm Down and Milwaukee Banks turn Tattersalls Lane into an all-out laneway party, head along to Queen Vic to catch a set from Kingswood, cruise down to the Toff to catch The Harpoons, get a load of newbies Japanese Wallpaper at the Kelvin Club and, as always, finish it all off at Boney. There's no judgment here, friends. This was chosen as one of our top ten events of Melbourne Music Week. Check out the full list here.
Do the drab walls of your over-priced office space make you cry a little inside every weekday? Does working from home make you realise that there is such a thing as a too comfortable workspace? Meet the co-working space: fashionable cousin to working from home and a place that has seen a slew of small businesses and organisations sharing spaces and experiences, all while saving some dosh. Hub Australia is one such space that is opening its Melbourne doors for free and, to celebrate Global Entrepreneurship Week, they're allowing you to experience what it's like to have a pretty-looking space to while away the working day. Suss out the Hub kitchen on an office tour, get a taste of coworking life with networking sessions and workshops, and listen to fantastically titled talks (e.g. 'How To Sell Yourself Without Feeling Dirty') from guest presenters and experts. Participants will even be invited to the Hub's weekly, sufficiently self-explanatory 'Wine Down' from 5pm onwards. Fuel your office envy and register for free here.
It's been a big year for Melbourne’s Teeth & Tongue, and thankfully for us it's not quite over yet. Instigator Jess Cornelius and her collaborators Marc Regueiro-McKelvie, Damian Sullivan, James Harvey and Jade McInally have enjoyed wide critical acclaim for their latest record Grids, including a few nominations for this year's The Age Music Victoria Awards. In this year alone they've embarked on three national tours and they're also heading to the supernatural amphitheater for Meredith Music Festival in December. But, before they do any of that, they're dropping in to the Shadow Electric to play to a home crowd. The alternative pop group will be playing a mix of their latest tunes as well as work from previous albums. Teeth & Tongue will be joined by Kangaroo Skull, The Ancients, Time For Dreams and projection artist Keith Deverell. Thankfully, this is something we can get used to. The Shadow Electric bandroom is now open all year long for killer local sets like this.
Whether it's the roof at Curtin House, the grounds of the Abbotsford Convent, the Royal Botanic Gardens or the sands of St Kilda Beach, when it comes to experiencing films in the great outdoors, Melbourne is spoiled for choice. But there's only location you can watch a movie under the stars without fear of getting rained out. With sessions every Tuesday evening in the Southgate Centre atrium, patrons of Southgate Cinema get to have their cake and eat it too. And better yet — it's absolutely free. Highlights of the most recent Southgate Cinema program include the inspiring soccer documentary Next Goal Wins, about the attempts of the much-maligned American Samoa team to qualify for the 2014 World Cup; the gripping Oceanic survival tale All Is Lost, starring the great Robert Redford as a lone sailor lost at sea; plus the most recent X-Men and Captain America movies for anyone looking for a dose of Hollywood action. Given the attractive price tag, demand for seats is high. Ticket reservations can be made online and need to be collected in person an hour before the scheduled start time. For more information and to the view the full summer program, go here.
Ki-ki-ki, ma-ma-ma. The terror of Crystal Lake will stalk the aisles at Cinema Nova in an all-night movie marathon with one hell of a body count. In the centrepiece event of Monster Fest 2014, watch slasher movie icon Jason Voorhees carve his way through a swathe of unsuspecting camp councillors in a 10+ hour horror endurance test that only the most dedicated gore-hounds will survive. It's difficult to defend the objective "quality" of the Friday the 13th franchise, one that began its life as a blatant Halloween knock-off and quickly descended into unintentional self-parody. And frankly, that's why we love it. Unconcerned with things like character motivation or internal logic, Mr Voorhees can instead hone in on the one thing that ticket holders really want to see: ludicrous bodily dismemberment. Starting at 11.15pm on Friday, November 28, The Monster Fest marathon features the first eight films in the franchise, concluding with the hilariously awful Jason Takes Manhattan. The one flaw in the program is that they cut it just short of number ten, aka The One Where Jason Goes to Space.
This article is sponsored by our partners, Ben & Jerry's Openair Cinemas. After taking on the entire Nazi high command in Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds, Brad Pitt's second foray into the WWII genre feels significantly closer to reality. Directed by David Ayre, Fury follows the trials of a five-man American tank crew, played by Pitt, Logan Lerman, Shia LaBeouf, Michael Pena and Jon Bernthal, as they push deep into German territory during the closing months of the war. Brutal and unflinching, the film's been compared in many reviews, including our own, to Steven Spielberg's Academy Award-winning Saving Private Ryan. On Saturday December 6, Concrete Playground will present a special screening of Fury at Ben & Jerry's Openair Cinema. Gates open at 6pm for a 7.30pm live performance by Melbourne-born singer-songwriter JR Reyne, who'll be cranking out an openair live set until sundown. Tickets are selling fast, so grab them while you still can. Ben & Jerry's Openair Cinema runs from November 30 to December 21 at South Beach Reserve, next to the St Kilda Sea Baths. For the full program see their website.
Marieke Hardy and Michaela McGuire's highly-acclaimed storytelling event is coming back to where it all began. This Sunday, October 26 letter-lovers young and old will be packing into Northcote's Regal Ballroom for some cozy Sunday afternoon feels. Though things won't quite be as you remember them — this offshoot event of the better known Women of Letters, will mark the fourth time men have been invited to the stage. Once again they'll be penning their letters to the "woman who changed [their] life". Iconic Indigenous actor Uncle Jack Charles will be kicking things off with what will no doubt be a great performance, news presenter Peter Hitchener will be taking a break from his journalistic diction and crime writer Shane Maloney will be keeping everyone intrigued. Other actors on stage will include Alex Papps and Offspring's Patrick Brammall, joined by writer and comedian Paul Verhoeven. Representing their fields alone will be filmmaker Richard Lowenstein, musician Darren Hanlon and chef Shane Delia, but the real highlight of the afternoon will be actor Samuel Johnson. Earlier this year Samuel rode 15,955 kilometres across the country on a unicycle to raise over $1.4 million in support of his sister who was diagnosed with breast cancer. No guesses at who he'll be writing about.
Imagine the movie Groundhog Day, except that instead of augmenting his knowledge and skill base with each nightly reset, Bill Murray's memory simply resets with it and he spends every day like it was the first: scared, confused and trying to figure out what's going on. Not as interesting, right? Well, therein lies the critical flaw in Before I Go To Sleep, a new 'thriller' starring Nicole Kidman, Colin Firth and Mark Strong. Kidman plays Christine, an amnesiac whose memory wipes itself clear every 24 hours, meaning with each new morning she must relearn who she is, what's happened to her and who that man lying next to her is — aka her husband, Ben (Firth). Helping her attempt to break the cycle is neuropsychiatrist Dr Nash (Strong), who compels Christine to leave a video message to herself each night so that she can slowly build upon her own memories the following day. Slowly, the memories begin to linger beyond the nightly reset and with them come growing suspicions that neither man in her life is being completely honest about the source of her condition. The film is based upon S.J. Watson's 2011 bestseller, but its slow-burn plot and predictable twists are far less forgiving on screen, where no amount of Kidman's trademark harrowed stares can engender the kind of tension it purports to have. The closest you come to frights in this film are courtesy of tactless incidental surprises like the sudden horn of a passing truck, and the lack of characters (with a suspects list of two) means the ultimate revelation is far from the scale a true climax deserves. Between the cast and the conceit, Before I Go To Sleep had the potential to explore some genuinely compelling ideas and offer a fresh spin on the Groundhog / Memento / Edge of Tomorrow premise, but instead it flounders in tawdry melodrama and leaves you largely unsatisfied. https://youtube.com/watch?v=L6ckwpaFbBM
Mike Meyer has long been a legendary name in the sign business. But it was after his appearance on internationally acclaimed film Sign Painters that he started to receive stacks of calls asking for lessons, tips and advice. Given that there's only a few schools in the whole world teaching the traditional art of hand-painted lettering, he decided to set up a travelling workshop. And now he's set to leave his home in Mazeppa, Minnesota to visit us here down under. He'll be hosting two-day workshops in Newcastle, Melbourne and Sydney. Over two days of brushes and paint, you'll learn how to paint Gothic (Block), Casual and Script fonts, while Mike provides one-on-one critique (and no shortage of jokes). The workshop is suitable for both those totally new to sign-painting and to those who've made some progress and are ready to take their skills to the next level. Tickets are likely to be snapped up quick.
The film industry has a gender problem. While women make up more than half of the world's moviegoers, just 16 per cent of last year's 250 most successful films had female directors. In Hollywood specifically, that number is halved. It's dire statistics like these that inspired the Seen and Heard Film Festival, an event designed to showcase the best that female filmmakers have to offer. After original launching in Sydney back in 2009, this year marks the festival's inaugural Melbourne season. Hosted at ACMI, the four-day event features three short film streams, including one dedicated to school-aged filmmakers and another to short form horror. There's also a selection of full-length movies on offer, including Desiree Akhavan's biting relationship comedy Appropriate Behaviour, the critically acclaimed immigration drama Under the Starry Sky, and Regarding Susan Sontag — an eponymous doco about the seminal feminist theorist. We can almost guarantee all films pass the Bechdel test.
Federation Square will be transformed into a drive-in movie theatre this week... albeit with only one car. Inspired by their successful short film showcase at the Dromana Drive-In back in February, long-running live art collective Aphids are transporting the free event to the centre of the Melbourne CBD. Deckchairs will take the place of actual vehicles, making surreptitious make-out sessions harder to pull off. Then again, given the venue, that might not be such a bad thing. Aphids will be set up in Fed Square's Yarra Gallery, shooting short films with members of the public. These new works will be unveiled on the big screen on the evening of Friday, November 14. Also on the program is the questionable Aussie cult classic Young Einstein, as well as the Aphids short film Finale, made with over 200 hundred residents of the Mornington Peninsula. Read more about the project here.
Murder. Family. Power. Betrayal. Pacino. Brando. De Niro. Duvall. ACMI is making film lovers an offer they can't refuse. Presented in partnership with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, Francis Ford Coppola's quintessential crime story will screen exclusively at Fed Square off carefully restored 35mm prints. An epic tale about the rise and fall of New York's Corleone crime family, each of the three films will play twice at the venue during the last two weekends of September. The original movie screens on Saturday evening, chased down by the sequels after lunch the following day. So leave the gun, take the cannoli, and head on down to ACMI for one of the greatest movie triptychs of all time.
The twisted fringes of local and global filmmaking will come shambling through Southbank in September. Celebrating 15 years of taboo-breaking, button-pushing, often stomach churning cinematic madness, The Melbourne Underground Film Festival is back for 2014, serving up questionable movie morsels to the public. The proud antithesis to the more highfalutin MIFF, the genre-centric festival has been the subject of plenty of controversy over the years, from their protest screening of banned film LA Zombie, to the divisive political views of organiser Richard Wolstencroft. Of course outrage and scandal are all part of the festival's appeal — and this year's line-up seems primed and ready to deliver. Of the nine full-length features on the program, intriguing stand-outs include American giallo homage Another, Brisbane-set drama The Suicide Theory, and closing night film Chocolate Strawberry Vanilla, about a mentally unstable ice-cream truck driver. The schedule is bolstered by more than fifty short films from directors all around the world. Check out the full program at the MUFF website.
Memorable moments in David Wnendt's Wetlands include, but are not limited to: the swapping of home-made tampons, the use of an avocado seed as a masturbatory aid, multiple self-inflicted rectal injuries and an extended sequence of four men ejaculating onto a pizza, in 300-style slow-motion, all to the strains of Strauss' Blue Danube. If any of that sounds appealing, read on. An adaptation of Charlotte's Roche's controversial (and highly successful) 2008 novel of the same name, Wetlands concerns the escapades of 18-year-old Helen Memel — played with infectious, smart-alecky charm by newcomer Carla Juri. And boy, do we mean infectious. Proudly describing herself as a "living pussy hygiene experiment", Helen abhors personal cleanliness, and believes that the unique musk that emanates from her nether regions makes her impossible for men to resist. Early on in the film, an unfortunately anal shaving accident lands Helen in the hospital. Although annoyed at being bed-ridden, our heroine finds a silver lining in realising that the incident represents the perfect chance of getting her divorced parents in the same room together — at which point she's positive sparks will fly. In the meantime, she's perfectly content to flirt with her handsome nurse Robin (Christoph Letkowski) and reminisce about her various sexual and scatological adventures. There's no skirting around it: Wetlands is gross. But that certainly doesn't mean that it isn't entertaining. From as early as the opening credit sequence — a Fight Club-inspired tour through the untamed ecosystem of a pube on a public toilet seat — Wnendt's direction is loaded with energy and style. The soundtrack — a mix of German rock and pop music — has a similarly upbeat rhythm, and suits Helen's rebellious outlook to a tee. Indeed, while her behaviour will frequently have you hiding behind your hands, Helen's unshakably non-conformist attitude makes her an easy protagonist to like. As already mentioned, Juri's performance is terrific, while Letkowski is adorable as her hunky but mild-mannered beau. There's something delightfully twisted about the fact that Wetlands ends up boiling down to what is basically a standard girl-meets-boy story arc. Except that instead of chocolates and flowers, the key to Helen's heart are her own surgically removed haemorrhoids in a jar. Thankfully, whenever the film starts threatening to get romantic or, God forbid, sensual, Wnendt pulls the rug out with another revolting X-rated moment, reminding us just how unappealing the human body can be. Which is, of course, entirely the point. As Helen succinctly puts it, if you think bodily fluids are gross, you should just forget about sex altogether. Believe it not, Wetlands ends up making some pretty salient points about both society's unreasonable expectations of female beauty, as well as the unfair double standards surrounding sex. That it does so while squeezing in a POV close-up of someone applying ointment to their own asshole just makes it that much harder to ignore.
Think your recorder skills in Year 6 were pretty enviable? London high school buds Jack Steadman, Jamie MacColl, Suren de Saram and Ed Nash actually lived the School of Rock dream when they were offered a record deal just after finishing their studies. Fast-forward a few years, a few albums and more than a few shows, Bombay Bicycle Club (albeit with less cherub-looking faces) are still rocking it. For the first time in almost two years, the British four-piece will grace Australia's east coast. Blessed with an ability to bounce between genres, their latest self-labelled 'dance' record released in February of this year, So Long, See You Tomorrow, is the group's fourth album in five years. For their Australian gigs, expect a little bit of psychedelia of 2011's A Different Kind of Fix, a little bit of acoustic goodness from 2010's Flaws, and a whole lot of Londony vibes. Supported by East. https://youtube.com/watch?v=JwlgC-jSPTk
With costumes like these, this dance work from Dewey Dell is sure to be anything but dull. Well known for their bizarre antics on stage, this Italian company has teamed up with Japanese artists Kuro Tanino and Yuichi Yukoyama to utilise a manga aesthetic. In neon power suits and Daft Punk helmets these dancers are going to war, exploring love and hate in a surreal futuristic plane of existence. This is the closest thing you're ever going to see to Yoshimi battling the pink robots in real life. Do not pass it up. This event was chosen as one of our top ten things to see at the Melbourne Festival 2014. See the full list here.
Sometimes you've just got to be in the right place, at the right time. Singer/songwriter Timothy Carroll first struck up a musical friendship with guitarist and composer Oscar Dawson in South East Asia and again, a few years later, in Stockholm where a stint of recording culminated in a demo for what would be a future Holy Holy song. Since then, the inter-city-loving duo have returned to Australia and, working with Hungry Kids of Hungary drummer Ryan Strathie, have produced insanely infectious singles like 'Impossible Like You' and 'House of Cards'. Support performances for Emma Louise and The Trouble With Templeton last year have impressed Australian audiences while their debut album, The Pacific EP, released earlier this year and recorded with local superstar producer Matt Redlich, has attracted Midlake comparisons. Now with a third single, 'History', up their sleeves, Holy Holy are embarking on a national headline tour. Expect gripping chorus builds and impassioned vocals as the band transports their rich production sounds from the studio onto the stage. Supported by Lanks + Jim Lawrie. https://youtube.com/watch?v=oLu-DNXrs04
Self-proclaimed 'Southern American music preservationist' Justin Townes Earle is returning to our shores for Melbourne's Out On The Weekend Americana-lovin' festival. Luckily, he's also trekking across the country for a number of sideshows, set to play new tunes such as 'Time Shows Fools' from his fifth studio album Single Mothers. The album reflects a new direction for the recently married Earle, the first of two releases from a recent recording session. The second, Absent Fathers, will be released next year. Old and new fans alike can expect a new Earle experience at the show, with JTE playing with a full live band for the very first time. These shows will promise a different approach for the blues aficionado, one that finds him fitting in with his fellow jammers instead of dominating the stage solo. A true talent — and one who's truly stepped out of his famous father's shadow — Earle is a musician whose live shows guarantee a good ol' night on the town(es).Supported by Lindi Ortega + Marlon Williams.
If you like your circus bright, gawdy and replete with peanuts and fairy floss, this is not the show for you. Off the back of five-star reviews in the UK, Opus comes to us from the local legends at Circa as they team up with France's Debussy Quartet. Combining world-class classical music and spellbinding acts of grace and endurance, the show presents a fusion of styles that hasn't really been seen on Australian stages. Intensifying this dynamic, the musicians will in fact be seated on stage while playing the work of Russian composer Dmitri Shostakovich. High energy and high concept, it might be best to leave the kids at home. This event was chosen as one of our top ten things to see at the Melbourne Festival 2014. See the full list here.
This year, the Melbourne Food & Wine Festival isn't all about fancy, super spenny sit-down food events — it's about partying a little bit too. The Windsor & Co. Block Party is a tastier-than-average Sunday session, incorporating all the best of southside's food, art and produce in Artists Lane. There'll be food from some of Windsor's best (including Mr Miyagi, Parlour Diner and Massive Wieners), music from Doss Blockos, street art and lots of good vibes. So spend your Sunday on the street getting down and downing dumplings and curly fries.
It's not very often that some of the best winemakers in the country invite you to their table for dinner (well, not for us anyway), but consider this your exclusive invite. A few of Victoria's winemaking legends will be personally presenting their best drops of wine to your lips at the Melbourne Food & Wine Festival's Highway 1 Street Party. Your glasses will be filled by the likes of Bindi, Crawford River, Jamsheed and Mount Mary, to name a few. And to top it all off, dinner will be served by four of Australia's young gun chefs: Dave Moyle (Franklin, Hobart), Dave Pynt (Burnt Endz, Singapore), Aaron Turner (Husk, Nashville) and Josh Murphy (Builders Arms, Moon Under Water). This one comes in at the pointy end of the price spectrum ($120 a ticket), but considering it's set under the stars at Abbotsford Convent, it's set to be a magical night worth your wages.
Kids do and say the funniest things, with no opportunity spared in reminding us of this fact. We were all children once, so we’ve been there and done that — and an endless parade of movies and TV shows, fictional and otherwise, just wants to keep bringing it up. What We Did On Our Holiday is the latest, the first feature written and directed by the folks behind British child-centric sitcom Outnumbered. Writer/director duo Andy Hamilton and Guy Jenkin have found what they think is a winning formula, and they’re sticking to it — but should they? Or should audiences? That’s the more pressing question, particularly for those without their own offspring in tow. Showing the amusing side of having a family while managing more than just nodding at those exasperated at their own kids is a far trickier feat than it seems. It’s the entertainment equivalent of a social media feed filled with someone’s proud photos of their children; there needs to be something more than just smiling baby faces for others to have fun. What We Did On Our Holiday brings a likeable, recognisable cast and broad sentiments about not sweating the small stuff along for its journey out of English suburbia and into the Scottish Highlands, in an attempt to package the pitter-patter of tiny feet into something more universally relatable. Recently estranged couple Doug (David Tennant) and Abi (Rosamund Pike) try to keep up the appearance of happiness at the 75th birthday bash of Doug’s cancer-stricken father Gordy (Billy Connolly). Their kids — the sensible older daughter, the cheeky son and the curious youngster — have other plans. Doctor Who and Gone Girl’s Amazing Amy Tennant and Pike are not, instead bickering over their emotional baggage and left looking uncomfortable with their jaws agape at the antics they can’t stop their brood getting up to. Connolly is as charming as ever, even toned-down and waxing lyrical with nostalgia, but the film’s sights are constantly aimed at the trio of tykes under ten spouting semi-improvised dialogue to wring the biggest laughs. To be fair, children can be cute and they can utter hilarious yet insightful pearls of wisdom, particularly in silly situations — which What We Did On Our Holiday has plenty of. Social-climbing relatives and eccentric neighbours provide some of the drama, all of the stereotypical, easily predictable type, of course. Needlessly trying to keep secrets — about a marriage, an illness and from the police after a particularly ridiculous, darker twist — takes care of the rest. The film’s tone of sweet, simple, observational humour is certainly well intentioned, as are the picturesque country and beachside settings. However, 95 minutes of kids stumbling into contrived adult chaos against a pretty backdrop also acts as a test of patience, and some will find their limits exceeded long before the Hollywood ending.
