Chris Taylor’s Guide to Oxford Street

The Chaser and One Man Show's Chris Taylor is kindly taking us on a tour down Oxford Street. From Woollahra down to Hyde Park by street number. Here we go.

315 - For lease
312 - For lease
307 - For lease
305 - Fashion boutique staffed by a lonely and sad-looking attendant
301 - For lease
295 - For lease
292 - Fashion boutique staffed by an attendant uploading Facebook photos of herself from a party at Backroom last night
284 - For lease
282 - Fashion boutique staffed by an attendant uploading Facebook photos of her recent “modelling assignment” for a student hair show
278 - 280 For lease
259 - For lease
257 - Fashion boutique staffed by an attendant hanging up a 'Back in 5 mins' sign so she can go and have her eighth smoko break of the morning with her friend down at MAC Cosmetics.
231 - For lease
229 - For lease
227 - The sole food shop in the area for 20 blocks
225 - For lease
221 - Multinational fashion store selling the kind of tops and skirts that the Ascham and Kambala girls go shopping for on Saturdays.
219 - For lease
217 - Paddington pub full of middle-aged men watching a Waratahs game
213 - For lease
205 - Multinational fashion store selling the identical tops and skirts that Ascham and Kambala girls go shopping for on Saturdays.
201 - For lease.

193 - Multinational fashion store that still thinks it's cool to play Jamiroquai on the in-store sound system.
185 - For lease
179 - Paddington pub full of middle-aged men watching a Swans game
173 - For lease
168 - MAC Cosmetics where, in the absence of customers, the three attendants take it turn to do each other's makeup.
162 - For lease
157 - Cockroach-infested cafe that offers patrons a choice of nachos or fettucine carbonara.
155 - For lease
143 - Sleek independent bookshop where a half-dozen introspective browsers thoughtfully thumb the new releases, before leaving with the latest Jamie Oliver.
139 - Rival independent bookshop where a half-dozen introspective browsers thoughtfully thumb the new releases, to pass time before their film session at the Verona begins.
138 - For lease
126 - Formerly popular and iconic gay bar that's now a multinational shoe shop.
122 - For lease
116 - Formerly popular and iconic twin cinema whose landlord is so greedy that not even a multinational shoe store can afford the rent.
112 - Pie Face
105 - Empty Brazilian restaurant
102 - For lease
95 - Empty Balkan restaurant, despite owners' best attempts to make it look busy by sitting on the one lone table out the front.
93 - Subway sandwiches
87 - Empty struggling bar and nightclub that clearly must be a front for something else.

84 - For lease
82 - Iconic gay bar full of heterosexual tourists.
78 - Fast food and kebab store where everything in the bain-maries looks as if it’s been there since 1987.
68 - For lease
62 - Pie Face
56 - For lease
54 - Pie Face
49 - Pie Face
45 - Pie Face
38 - Hipster bar that the real hipsters stopped going to 18 months ago because something better, or at least newer, opened up in Redfern.
33 - Pie Face
28 - Hipster bar full of people who couldn't get into Shady Pines.
26 - Gloria Jeans.
24 - Hungry Jack's
22 - Subway sandwiches
15 - Nightclub that’s bizarrely still in business even though no-one's ever seen or met anyone who's ever gone to it. Presumably it has a Pie Face inside it.
13 - IGA store that’s exclusively patronised by the mentally unwell.
301 - For lease
8 - Pie Face
6 - For lease
5 - For lease
2 – City of Sydney sign welcoming people to "Sydney's iconic Oxford Street – the pulsing heart of the city!"
1 - For lease

You can currently see Chris Taylor in One Man Show, on in Sydney at the Metro Theatre on May, The Concourse Chatswood on May 2 and the Factory Theatre on May 24. Tickets are on sale now via Ticketek.