All the Life Advice You Need from Terry Pratchett
“Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.”
By now you've probably heard the news that this morning we awoke to a world a little less wondrous. After a long battle with a form of Alzheimer’s disease, beloved fantasy author Sir Terry Pratchett has passed away at the age of 66. Best known for his ever-popular Discworld series, Pratchett published more than 70 books over the course of his lifetime, and won countless fans with his irreverent writing style and limitless imagination.
With so much writing under his belt, there's a Pratchett line for seemingly any situation. In tribute to the well-lived author, we’ve collected some of our favourite Pratchett advice.
"There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!"
– The Truth
“He'd noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: it fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination - but at the end of the day they'd settle quite happily for egg and chips.”
– The Fifth Elephant.
ON GENDER RELATIONS
“A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.”
– The Fifth Elephant
“A European says: ‘I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?’ An American says: ‘I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?’”
“Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."
Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.”
– Death’s Domain
“Sham Harga had run a successful eatery for many years by always smiling, never extending credit, and realizing that most of his customers wanted meals properly balanced between the four food groups: sugar, starch, grease and burnt crunchy bits.”
– Men at Arms
“Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.”
– The Hogfather
“It is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street- cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.”
– Moving Pictures
ON HARD WORK
“If you trust in yourself…. and believe in your dreams…. and follow your star… you’ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy.”
— The Wee Free Men
“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”
– Good Omens
“Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.”
– I Shall Wear Midnight
“‘And what would humans be without love?’
‘RARE’, said Death.”
"Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one."
ON GETTING OLD
“Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.”
– Moving Pictures
“It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.”
Image: Dementia Friends.
Published on March 13, 2015 by Tom Clift