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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Get Sloshed with the Stars: The Oscars 2015 Drinking Game

Nothing spices up the Oscars like a relentless, unforgiving drinking game.
By Tom Glasson
February 19, 2015
  shares

Get Sloshed with the Stars: The Oscars 2015 Drinking Game

Nothing spices up the Oscars like a relentless, unforgiving drinking game.
By Tom Glasson
February 19, 2015
  shares

Get ready for red carpet specials, awkward presenter gaffes and all the bitter celebrity reaction shots your heart could possibly desire — it's time for the Oscars. This means one thing for all of us playing at home and not taking away $150,000 gift baskets: Concrete Playground's 2015 Academy Awards Drinking Game. As always, both Concrete Playground and the Academy support responsible drinking and the brevity of acceptance speeches.

Now, thank the Academy and get into it.

ONE SIP

  • Jack Nicholson wears sunglasses.
  • Harrison Ford wears an earring.
  • Diane Keaton wears gloves.
  • Harvey Weinstein is mentioned.
  • Neil Patrick Harris (NPH) sings during his opening monologue.
  • Jennifer Lawrence does something adorably 'real' (three drinks if it's a fashion mishap).
  • Winner thanks God or Jesus.
  • Winner 'pays tribute' to his/her extraordinary fellow nominees.
  • Winner's speech is played off by the orchestra.
  • Channing Tatum misreads his teleprompter (three drinks if he reads 'Channing' or 'Pause for laughter' aloud).

TWO SIPS

  • NPH makes a Birdman / Batman joke (three drinks if Michael Keaton does).
  • NPH references the leaked Sony emails.
  • Rosamund Pike makes a joke about her co-presenter being scared of her (five drinks if it’s actually funny).
  • Steve Carrell prosthetic nose is joke-nominated for 'Best Supporting Actor'.
  • NPH jokes that the bathroom queue is the only thing bigger than Chris Hemsworth's arms.
  • Eddie Redmayne and Benedict Cumberbatch do a bit together about playing mathematical geniuses.
  • You’ve actually heard of any of the nominees for 'Documentary Short Subject' or 'Foreign Language Film'.
  • Matthew McConaughey says any (or all) of: 'Alriiiight', 'Okaaay' and 'Wooooow'.
  • JK Simmons jokes that the orchestra is not quite in time.
  • NPH does a bit involving a Birdman voiceover in his head that mocks various nominees.
  • Robin Williams gets the biggest applause during the 'In Memorium' section.
  • Someone jokes that American Sniper is the only thing more divisive than the war it's set in.
  • Winner describes his/her film as 'important'.
  • Winner describes his/her film’s director as 'a genius'.
  • Brad Pitt pokes fun at actors who become directors (CUT TO Angelina Jolie smiling).
  • Chris Hemsworth has a ponytail.

THREE SIPS

  • Liam Hemsworth has a ponytail.
  • NPH reads the leaked Sony emails.
  • TARS from Interstellar presents an award and tells the best joke of the evening.
  • John Travolta welcomes to the stage "Academy Award Winner — Royce Witherspork"
  • You’ve actually seen of any of the nominees for 'Documentary Short Subject' or 'Foreign Language Film'.
  • Winner thanks Allah or Mohammed.
  • Meryl Streep acknowledges her now 19 nominations and says "One more and I get a free meatball sub."
  • NPH jokes that Boyhood is nothing special because he did Doogie Howser back in '89 and we've been watching him not grow up ever since.
  • Any joke about Alan Turing being the only one who could make sense of something (five drinks if it's Oscars voting).
  • Someone from The Theory of Everything thanks Stephen Hawking instead of God.
  • NPH attempts to break Ellen's record for most-retweeted selfie.
  • Mickey Rooney gets the biggest applause during the 'In Memorium' section.
  • Joaquin Phoenix comes dressed as a turn-of-the-century blacksmith.
  • NPH jokes that there have been 'back to back' gay hosts for the Oscars (five drinks if he then says he's looking forward to Clooney hosting in 2016).
  • Selma wins Best Picture but the director isn't allowed to walk all the way to the stage.
  • Congratulatory kiss or embrace from presenter 'gets awkward'.

CHUG YOUR DRINK

  • Bruce Willis has a ponytail… or a combover.
  • NPH sings his opening song in black face to redress the 'white nominees only' situation (we genuinely hope he doesn't do this).
  • Peter Jackson announces plans to turn his valet parking receipt into an epic nine-hour trilogy.
  • Meryl Streep comes in a dress made from all her melted-down Oscars.
  • JK Simmons hurls his award at the orchestra’s drummer and levels the most horrific slur in broadcast history.
  • ISIS wins 'Best Foreign Short Film'.
  • Grand Budapest Hotel wins Best Picture, Kanye crashes the stage and says Hotel Rwanda was easily the better hotel.
  • Michael Keaton wins Best Actor but, having gone too deep into character, produces a gun and goes 'Full Birdman'.

Published on February 19, 2015 by Tom Glasson

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