Safe

An action film so cack-handed it borders on parody.
Tom Glasson
Published on May 14, 2012
Updated on December 08, 2014

Overview

"Written and directed by" is a significant phrase in Hollywood. In an industry notorious for taking a screenwriter's story and completely bastardising it during production, directors like Christopher Nolan, Woody Allen and the brothers Wachowski and Cohen have all demonstrated the virtues of controlling a film's production from its very inception right through to its, well… Inception. In essence, the words "written and directed by" offer audiences the greatest guarantee that the film they're about to see is the closest thing to the film the director actually set out to make.

Which begs the question: why did Boaz Yakin set out to make this movie? Safe, starring England's best whispering frown — Jason Statham — is a violent action flick written and directed by Yakin; however, 'written' might be a touch generous. Statham has more hair than this film has plot, and with lines like "I’ve been in restaurants all night but all I've been served is lead", the dialogue is equally sparse.

As an action film, Safe operates squarely within the boundaries of its genre's logic. The Chinese bad guys are Chinese, so they all know martial arts. The Russian bad guys are Russian, so they all laugh while killing people and sound exactly like Boris Badenov from Rocky and Bullwinkle. Last but not least, the cops and politicians are all so corrupt, the only person who can stop them is a good cop who's not a cop any more. Throw in a young Chinese maths prodigy (Catherine Chan) whose memory is abused by the Triads as an untraceable ledger for their illegal activities and you've got all the ingredients you'll need.

All the ingredients, that is, to bake yourself a pie. A pie made of lead. A death pie.

Information

Tap and select Add to Home Screen to access Concrete Playground easily next time. x