This Just In: The Horniest Place in Australia Is This Tiny Town in Queensland
New data from Lovehoney has ranked 1,227 Australian suburbs and towns by sex toy purchases per capita — and not one capital city cracked the top ten.
The capitals like to think they have the monopoly on hedonistic activity — all those dark laneways, all those dive bars. Turns out the country's] horniest people have been quietly going about their business 40 minutes down the road from Brisbane this whole time.
Lovehoney's 2026 Sex Map has taken a year of the sexual wellness retailer's sales data and ranked 1,227 Australian suburbs and towns by what residents actually bought per capita. The winner — and newly crowned "Australia's Sexiest City" — is Ripley, a fast-growing master-planned suburb on Ipswich's southern edge that was home to around 4300 people at the last census. Per head of population, nowhere in the country buys more.
The capitals, meanwhile, did not cover themselves in glory. Sydney landed 401st. Melbourne came 951st. Brisbane placed 1,212th — fourth from last in the entire country, which is a remarkable result for a city that just spent a decade telling everyone it's not boring anymore. Not a single capital made the national top ten, which went instead to small towns and outer suburbs: Ripley was followed by Dickson (ACT), Calliope (QLD), Spencer Park (WA), Wandina (WA), Kalgoorlie (WA), Macquarie (ACT), Hermit Park (QLD), Newtown (QLD) and Holt (ACT).
Before anyone in the inner city reaches for an excuse, the data says the country's coolest postcodes didn't rate either. According to Lovehoney, Fitzroy sits 501st, Collingwood 551st, Brunswick 671st, Surry Hills 482nd and Sydney's Newtown 534th. Whatever those suburbs are doing after dark, it apparently doesn't involve a checkout.
Ripley didn't just win — it swept the honours board, collecting a stack of the map's novelty awards, including the Peachiest Place Award (most anal toys), the Wettest Place Award (most lube), the Hands Solo Award (most male sex toys) and the Ooh La La Award (most French maid costumes). Fellow Queensland town Lowood took out the Most Otherworldly City award for buying the most fantasy dildos per capita — part of a broader trend, with Lovehoney reporting fantasy toy sales up 244 percent year on year and searches up more than 700 percent.
At state level, the ACT was crowned Australia's sexiest state or territory, buying more products per capita than anywhere else — proof that Canberra is as committed to pleasure as it is to policy. Last year's winner, Tasmania, slipped to second, with Queensland third. New South Wales and Victoria came seventh and eighth respectively, out of eight.
There are two consolation prizes for the capitals. Brisbane's West End was the standout among the three big east coast capitals' suburbs, coming in at 30th nationally — comfortably ahead of anywhere in Sydney or Melbourne. And Melbourne can claim one national title: according to Lovehoney, it's the country's number one city for lube by volume.
The stats get more specific from there. Queensland's Tolga buys the biggest toys in the country, averaging 11 inches (28 centimetres), while Brisbane keeps things modest at an average of five inches (about 13 centimetres). And if every dildo sold in the data period were laid end to end, Lovehoney says the line would stretch 221,456.5 inches — roughly 5.6 kilometres, or the height of 86.5 Sydney Opera Houses.
The full interactive sex map is live now, so you can look up exactly where your own postcode landed — and decide whether to be smug, secretive or competitive about it.
Images: Lovehoney | iStock
