PLAYMAKER
The Playmaker
Let's play
PLAYMAKER
  • It's Thursday
    What day is it?
  • Now
    What time is it?
  • Anywhere in Brisbane
    Where are you?
  • What do you feel like?
    What do you feel like?
  • And what else?
    And what else?
  • LET'S PLAY
15° & CLOUDY ON THURSDAY 27 SEPTEMBER IN BRISBANE
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Seven Homegrown Artists Who Would Totally Kill It at Eurovision

Out of left field suggestions we think Australia's Eurovision selectors should totally take on board.
By Shannon Connellan
February 11, 2015
  shares

Seven Homegrown Artists Who Would Totally Kill It at Eurovision

Out of left field suggestions we think Australia's Eurovision selectors should totally take on board.
By Shannon Connellan
February 11, 2015
  shares

It's official, Australia is going to be reppin' the glitter cannons, human-sized hamster wheels and furious fog machines at the 2015 Eurovision Song Contest. This morning, Australia has been announced as one of the competing countries for this year's contest, and we're even allowed back next year — if we win. Too kind. Australians will even be able to vote, probably at some whack hour of the day. Making a world stage of Vienna this time around, Eurovision is taking place from May 20 to 24, with the final exploding all over Stadthalle arena on May 23.

So who's going to be our shining star, our glittering messenger to an estimated global audience of 195 million? Not Jessica Mauboy, who performed in last year's event with weird astronauts and dancers in budgie smugglers. Nope. While SBS is suggesting AC/DC and Midnight Oil (and Olivia Newtown John for some ungodly reason), we've got a few pitches of our own to make. Eurovision is about simultaneously bringing new faces to the world and earning ner-ner-ner-ner bragging rights for your country. Finland dressed up as orcs and played epic metal. Moldova danced in a circle with weird cone hats on. Germany put a disco Genghis Khan on stage. Let's show 'em.

cp-line

donny-benet

DONNY BENET

If you've ever seen this Sydney maestro of groove live, you'll know Europe wouldn't be able to resist his seductive synthy basslines, sax solos and crisp white tuxedo jackets. If Benet had been the brains behind France's 'Moustache' track last year, they'd have earned a few more points.

cp-line

kirin-j-callinan

KIRIN J CALLINAN

Because if we're going to meet the quirk of Eurovision halfway, we need Kirin. Things would undoubtedly get freaky. Plus, he'd give Conchita Wurst's beard a run for its money.

cp-line

Client-Liaison-1

CLIENT LIAISON

Monte Morgan and Harvey Miller would 'Feed the Rhythm' inside 12 easy points from Malta with their applaudable live show. Plus, Monte wears a lot of mesh and Eurovision loves mesh.

cp-line

534936331RJ00274_The_57th_A

SIA

The Grammy nominee would get 12 points for vocal range or oversized wig alone, but she'd probably bring along her dancetastic buddy Maddie Ziegler who would seal the deal.

cp-line

bluejuice

BLUEJUICE

Get the band back together, bring the skipping ropes back on stage and channel all that newfound Boyz II Men goodness.

cp-line

tkay-maidza

TKAY MAIDZA

Look, the kid's bloody talented, super fun live and if we could win Eurovision with a teenage rapper from Adelaide, we'd run the world.

cp-line

Brendan-Mclean01

BRENDAN MCLEAN

Certified king of dancing like no-one's watching, primed for the Eurostage after jigworthy escapades such as this killer video.

cp-line

 

 

UPDATE 11/2: Well, well, well. A dark horse joins the race. There's now a huge surge in support for a petition on Change.org, calling for the reunion of landmark Australian rock band TISM specifically to represent Australia at Eurovision 2015. "Since you left us in 2004, we've had a never ending parade of gormless depressing electro-indie, depressing indie-folk, and depressing Aussie hip-hop," say the petitioners. "We the undersigned, ask that you get on stage in front of the world and remind them of just how great Australian music is." They're up to over 500 signatures already. Want to add yours?

Nominated by the Concrete Playground team. 

Published on February 11, 2015 by Shannon Connellan

Tap and select Add to Home Screen to access Concrete Playground easily next time. x