Just when you thought Sydney had reached peak burger, a new venue comes along and changes everything. That venue is Milky Lane, where crispy fried doughnut cones, bacon waffle thickshakes and jaw-dislocating burgers will have you pledging allegiance to the American flag.
Located just a street back from Bondi Beach, Milky Lane has been drawing crowds since the day it opened. Expect to see hipsters of the local variety out in droves, with even the most stereotypical of health conscious Bondi-dwellers conveniently ignoring their clean eating goals for the day.
The Milky Lane menu centres around six inventive burger creations, ranging from your regular cheeseburger to massive irrational meat stacks. The one burger to rule them all is The Big Poppa with a wagyu beef patty and — are you ready? — Texan slow-smoked beef brisket, streaks of maple-smoked bacon, double American cheddar, a disc of fried macaroni and cheese, onion rings, homemade pickles, tomato relish, mustard and a creamy Milky Lane house sauce ($22). The meat patty is blackened around the rim and meltingly soft in the centre, without even the faintest tinge of pink — take that NSW Food Authority.
If you can't afford to sleep off the afternoon, perhaps order something a little more practical such as the crispy southern fried chicken burger with maple bacon, habanero aioli and pineapple relish, or the slow-smoked pork belly burger with pork crackling, kimchi and zingy apple relish (both $17). Chips are of the beer-battered variety and need to be ordered separately. From the three options available, choose the loaded fries with liquid cheese, gravy, bacon, caramelised onion and shallots ($9) — it's far better than the famed In-N-Out version.
Round off the meal with a bacon waffle thickshake or one of the cocktails designed for big kids; think bubblegum syrup, toasted marshmallow and salted caramel foam mixed with your favourite spirits. But make sure you leave room for the doughnut cone soft serve, which comes drenched in warm, melted Nutella and salty pretzels. They haven't got the engineering quite right yet — ours ended up on our faces, hands, elbows and a dozen other places. But don't worry, no one is watching. They can't even see you over the top of their burgers.
Images: Bodhi Liggett.