Pancakes vs Waffles: The Great Debate

Heavy stuff coming to you today from the Concrete Playground lab: A debate sparked in the Iron Age and making waves in the Renaissance before uncontrollably escalating in the Breville Age. A competition that’s torn apart families and separated breakfast tables at once. Who reigns supreme in the sweet dough-off between pancakes and waffles?

While both hold steady benchmark in the world of breakfast foods, the evidence is strong, the palates have been tested and the rivers will run thick with the loser’s sweet, sweet syrup.

ON THE PLATE

The aesthetic aspect of this debate intersects many dimensions, focusing primarily on simplicity versus the abstract. Compare pancakes to The Great Wall of China – architecturally, it’s a classic go to, of stock standard template, with few frills. Then compare waffles to The Pyramids – just as much work, but a bit more zest. Waffles have the capacity to capture toppings, in their valley of dints and rises, and are crispy enough to perform as plate, sandwich holder, or even carry around snack. Plus with waffles, you can make little houses, a syrup jakoozie and Drew Barrymore fall in love with you. First point to waffles.

Waffles 1, Pancakes 0

IN YOUR MOUTH

The question of which tastes better out of pancakes and waffles is totally subjective, however there can be no real competition with subjectivity at play, and with no competition comes no winner, and winning is everything. Therefore, objectively, the tastiest of the two would be the fattier, sweetest and saltiest product. On average waffles are 14% fat, versus pancakes, which are 10%. Waffles contain less sugar at 2%, while pancakes pack it up with 15%. Waffles take reign again with higher calorie, cholesterol, and salt figures, over pancakes. Buckwheat, buttermilk, and the stock standard substitutes are bound to alter these figures, but say what you will, waffles are more likely to kill you – and that gives them an extra point.

Waffles 2, Pancakes 0

IN THE KITCHEN

Finally, pancakes nab one in the bag. Just about any Joe Blow with a frypan, couple of eggs, and well-stocked pantry can pull together a pretty delicious pancake. Crack, pour, mix, fry, and boom, pancakes on the table, on your fork, in your mouth. On the other hand, traditional waffles take a good few steps, multiple bowls, and a handful of extra ingredients to perfect. Whites must be separated from yolks, and then beaten to stiff peaks, folded into the batter, and all the time remain lump free. And while it’s not as hard as it sounds, it sure makes for a heap of washing, and a sooky cooky when creations don’t work out

Waffles 2, Pancakes 1

IN THE MIX

For the sake of argument, fritters and crepes are rather mere derivatives of the pancake, deserving of spotlight, but not in this debate. Taste.com will try and mask a corn and zucchini fritter as a savoury pancake, but don’t play their fool. Pancakes are base best suited sweet. Blueberries, strawberries, chocolate chip and banana are just a few simple ingredients that can decode the simple taste of a pancake, and reform it as something totally new. As far as waffles go, sweet potato is a mix in that might make you squirm, but is truly a force of a feature - try Kettle and Tin's take on it.  Potatoes aside, we have to admit, nothing really beats blueberry pancakes, so there’s another point to our flat friends.

Waffles 2, Pancakes 2

ON TOP

Both waffles and pancakes take ice-cream, syrup and/or other sweet toppings as well as each other in a flavour sense. From a savoury aspect, however, the fight gets full frontal and nasty. If you haven’t heard of Roscoe’s, google image, right now. Now! Back? Now google image Edward Lee Waffles. Chicken and waffles may be one of the strangest, American-reeking fusions on the market, but jeepers it’s a match made in heart-disease heaven. The Canadian breakfast plays worthy rival – bacon laced in syrup, topped with more bacon, covered in a dash more syrup, garnished with bacon, and finished with syrup, and is a staple on any successful breakfast menu. Therefore, both succeed in sweetness, pancakes take pork, and waffles woo chicken – that’s a worthy point each.

Waffles 3, Pancakes 3

ON THE BIG SCREEN

Reputation in any spectrum relies strongly on it’s perception and portrayal on the big screen. Therefore, the more referenced a food product is in a movie or TV Show, the more influence and appreciation is has on a public sphere. Waffles have strongly cemented themselves into quotes from comedies such as The Simpsons, Parks and Recreation, and Little Miss Sunshine, and mostly everything with Mike Myers or Rob Schneider in it – check out the Huffington Post’s ode to waffles on the big screen. Of course, waffles are also the soppy Hollywood glue between Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler in rom-com, 50 First Dates. Pancakes have just as much dramatic flavour, lingering in more vintage, cult films – Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Public Enemy and Pulp Fiction holding home to the sweet treat. Both frequent the big screen as much as Nicholas Cage, but in deciding who takes the pick in this section, we have to go with the one loved by donkeys, feared by ogres, and quoted around breakfast tables since 2001. One more point to waffles, 100 points to Shrek.

Waffles 4, Pancakes 3

As we tally the score, I defer to Mitch Hedberg, who described pancakes as, “all exciting at first, but then by the end you’re f***ing sick of them.” Sure, they have their moments, and wonderful moments at that, but when push comes to shove, they lack the fine, crisp crafted velour of their dented nemesis. The waffle is art – sweet, buttery art that can play both treat and staple. Do yourself a favour, buy a waffle iron, or better yet, sell up, and  use all your money to open a Roscoes franchise in Queen Street Mall. Please.

If it all seems too hard to DIY, we've provided a quick guide to pancake and waffle eats Brisbane-wide.

Pawpaw’s chocolate pancake stack with honey and honeycomb is sickly fantastic, and should come with a shot of insulin on service. Kettle and Tin’s dark chocolate waffles are a just as dangerous, and create a chocolate waffle benchmark that begs to be rivalled. Post Cockadoodle Cafe's facelift, the waffles are still flying out with full flavour, berry abundant, and maple dowsed. The waffles at Comfort at My Table are some of the ritziest, yet most reasonably priced in this city – if the banoffee waffles ever feature on the specials board, nab them without batting a lash. And of course, Pancake Manor in the City is the 24 hour hot cake hotspot, that provides quality at any time of the day – crepes, waffles, pancakes and steaks, they cover it all, will combine on polite demand, and can play any drunken-night meal, or early-start breakfast. Bless them all.