A Million Ways to Die in the West

Even 15-year-old boys will find this disappointingly puerile.
Tom Glasson
Published on June 02, 2014

Overview

Unlike the movie, we'll keep this short and to the point. 

A Million Ways To Die In The West is not a good film. Not unless, that is, you're a 15-year-old boy, in which case, it's the best goddam movie you've ever goddam seen! Consider the ingredients. This is 116 minutes of hot girls talking about sex and their 'great tits', fart sound effects aplenty, semen finding its way onto faces, characters swearing like it's going out of style and Neil Patrick Harris's character emptying his gastro-afflicted bowels into a stranger's hat for a full 45 seconds, before then farting some more and repeating the deed into another man's hat. Soiler Alert: he then kicks it over so that you get to see the liquid faeces in all its comedic glory. 

The man behind it all is Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, whose voice is the median strip between Brian and Peter Griffin, and whose last (and first) film Ted was a surprise hit. Here, he's upped his involvement. A lot. MacFarlane wrote, directed, produced and starred in A Million Ways To Die in the West, and to say he's overreaching is beyond generous. This is pure self-indulgence, particularly given the extraordinary amount of screen time he occupies despite having a top-shelf cast around him (Liam Neeson, Charlize Theron, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman, Amanda Seyfried and, of course, Doogie). 

The most frustrating thing is that scattered throughout the film are pockets of oustanding comedy. Early on, MacFarlane and Ribisi 'assume the position' and pretend to fight during a bar brawl so as to discourage anyone else from coming their way in what is a terrific moment, and a recurring gag about nobody smiling in the newly invented 'photo' experience is as amusing as it is astute. The problem is, these moments are so scarce than can be counted on one hand. Like, a leprous hand...with two fingers, and maybe a thumb stub.  

There's no denying MacFarlane's talents, but here they were stretched beyond their means. The supporting cast does its best to do exactly that, but can do only so much with so little screen time and a script that requires more cursing than acting. Again, this is not a good film. Save your money — even if you're a 15-year-old boy.

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