Ghetto Handball

Overview

Adult life involves too much responsibility — groceries, rent, inter-personal relationships, democracy. I often wish I could return to those carefree primary school days of Zooper Dooper ice blocks (I preferred bubble gum flavour), canteen lunch orders in brown paper bags, and poring over Hanson interviews in Smash Hits (yeah, I know, piss off). The days when my greatest anxieties were whether or not the librarian's son wanted to marry me, and, of course, whether I'd retain my handball crown next lunchtime.

The folks behind Ghetto Handball understand this. The "rising star of the outdoor scum scene in Sydney", Ghetto Handball will be hosting a special Election Day Edition this Saturday at 12pm. Vote, buy yourself some beers, and get on into a chalk square to play some ball. Remember guys — a flicked wrist and a strong arm will never fail you, and get down low before you slog.

The official after party will take place at The Shannon Hotel, 87 Abercrombie St, Chippendale, where you can either celebrate or commiserate the election with the likes of Kitty Munroe, Nickels & Dimes, and Gadgets on the decks.

The official Ghetto Handball rules are as follows:

The Hierarchy: King, Queen, Jack, Dunce.

If it is a four-square game, all players apart from King are immediately out if they mess up. If it goes to six-squares, King and Queen stay in and go to Dunce if they get out.

New King must serve it to Old King. If you forget to follow this rule as New King you are immediately out. Not to Dunce — GONE. Back of the line, fool.

If you would like the ball first at a point of service, you are encouraged to call "Service". If at that point you would also like to state you want the ball played to you in a favourable manner, you are encouraged to further call “Service Decent”. Please note King then decides if you are to receive the "Service", and if it will indeed be "Decent".

Lines is a replay.

Rolls is a replay. Deal with it.

If the players on court can’t decide on a decision, it goes to the bench. The bench's decision is final.
You must be physically lining up next to the court to be included on the bench.

If there is interference to play (e.g. a car, dog, streaker) "INNO'S" must be called. As soon as "INNO'S" is called, any further shots are not counted.

Alliances, teams, dress-ups, heckling are all welcomed.